A Grand Day Owt.

Tempus Fugit and all that guff. Even your old uncle Albert can't hold back time. It had to be now or never !.This weekend or never !
What's 'appening now O' master?
In a matter of days a 'Vintafaker' from a foreign land would journey northwards. On a mission to collect what his rightfully his. I, Alberteeni Crackleportvincento would have to agree to sign the papers of L.B.P. and wave goodbye................Goodbye to a playful young thing that has happily slept under a thin sheet outside 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' for ney on 3 of those luna cycles.

So, if a mind meld with shiney No3 was going to happen it better start happening double quick.
Basil.K. Splutteripe(the Phantom Polisher of old Eccleshill town) would be guiding Shiney through the days proceedings and yours truly would make sure LBP stayed between the hedges.

Shiney No3 slowly approaches LBP in preparation for a European Mind Meld..............
Those of a nervous disposition please turn away now.....................
Phew.............

Phew, thank goodness that mating section is over, the fresh farm aromas await..............Let's head into the country........
Riding shotgun would be Fifi La Downdraught and The Baroness Von Battenburg. Both keeping an eye on proceedings and making sure their (most trustworthy)men didn't stray off the straight and narrow. Because by crikey there's plenty of dangers in thum thear Dales.

Dangers - Mainly inns and pubs that tease the unsuspected with wonderful flagons of 'Black Sheep Bitter'.........Slowly tiring those that allow the juice to pass their lips, until the weak collapse into the moorland heather.....sound asleep......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
FEAR NOT ! Basil and Albert are fully trained in the art of Bitter quoffing..........Alertness is our game, it takes more than 2 Black Sheep to stop an Original Pembletoneer..
Forwaaaaaaaaaaaard-
The march........whoops sorry the route..........would be as follows.
Otley, Ilkley, Beamsley Beacon, Storiths, Appletreewick, Kilnsey, Arncliffe, Litton.

Beamsley conquered - The water splash at Storiths awaits

What's the rush ? For dear reader we had hear of a special watering hole.
A brew pub (Litton Brewery) It would be too rude not to stop and test the goodness now wouldn't it.
Stay tuned Vintafaker fans. This tale of 'derring do' has only just begun...........

Ha Haaa ! Hands up all those who thought I had disappeared down a deep pickling vat never to be seen again......Trust me ! It is I Albertotominus Crackleportious. Master of the world of Vintafaking. I won't let you down..........I have returned.....from mi shed.
Here to tell all those who have taken the time to log onto this worthy information site that your choice is a good un' yes, here speaketh the authorised..........................Authorised what ? Hell, I have no idea but believe me I am authorised.

Albert old chap, what have you been doing today?

Well, I have been a filing and a grinding for near on 2 of your earth days....shaping metal into gorgeous curvacious lovelyness.
Behold.........................I shall unveil the fruits of my labours. (The unveiling of the family Crackleportious fruits may be later, only time will tell.)
Right.- No1 -
I have transfered the cardboard engine mount template into real life metal. Grinding, filing, sanding, and finally drilling.
Behold -
Phew - Masterpiece -
Then, a question for the Virago knowbodies, and anyone else who collects trivia.
How much does a XV535 back brake plate weigh ? Big yawn, I know, hardly world stopping science.........
The big lump of Japanese Yamahahahah metal weighs in at 1.6Kgs. You know , some poor chinese 8yr old will have been 2 month underground digging the ore to make this boat anchor.

So ? It's monstorous !
So - I'm gonna trim some fat !

Coming along nicely, Hands up all those that want to see this baby trimmed down to the bone.
I'll let you know what the fighting weight is when its finished.
More filing..............................good job I like filing......................

Hang on, what is in this flagon that is before me................Cider..........? Here end this transmission.

Engine meets frame

It may be raining outside but in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' it's happy smiley sunshining. Thats because there's been much thinking between cups of Italys finest coffee washed down with an occasional Jaffa cake. (not dunked) Thinking is good, Karma, Zen and all that malarkey....coming together as a mighty force to help your Uncle Albert undo the wrong doings in a Virago.....
Well, one think thats gonna get adjusted big time is the steering geometry. I don't like layed back steering angles. Virago specification claims 31 degrees rake.....I'm aiming to reduce that by 4-5 degree. 27 degrees would be nice......like proper handling bikes....
As the frame will be chopped at the back anyway I shall tilt the front forward.....thus reducing rake without altering steering head frame construction. (and thus dear vintafakerfan safe me from the dreaded requirement to visit an MSVA inspector. HaHa !)

I'll be making an engine mount something like the original (which I don't have) except better because mine will be made out of 25mm angle cut from a road sign....council quality...oh yes.

Note how the frame has been dropped to within a fag paper of the cylinder head...
(The cardboard I will replace with something stronger.....maybe)

Once these engine plates are constructed I 'think' I can cut the frame and keep the alignments.
Certainly the steering head to engine will be ok. I'll bolt the back engine mounts in position again and hey presto...as they contain the swing arm mount all should be back in position for fabricating the rear........Now you can see why I did a lot of thinking..........
but quality thinking takes time....
and thinking makes me thirsty...................................... so I'm off to fill mi flagon 'cause boy am I thirsty.

Going in the right direction...?

Today I ground my flange. Painless and most satisfying.

She's now a beaut ! Trimmed, curvy, and ready for action. Just like a good flange should be.

W.T.F. !

Hello and welcome to Vintafaker World.

Yes, deep in the depths of 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' a small stirring has happened. Nothing to knock the earth off it's axis, but heading that way if you are Virago rider. (Shame on you, time would be better spent manicuring your cuticles.)

However - Virago owners who have seen the light read on. For 'I' Albertiouso Crackleportominus will help free you from those shackles that have interned your spirit.......your soul..........and your biggest drinking flagon.

Come grind with me.......feel the energy return within..........cast aside your inhabitions.........you know it makes sense. Make your Virago a machine of wonderment, a joy to ride and own...

So, having reduced the sidecasing of unnecessary grammage I was feeling pretty damn pleased. The end of a long gring was in sight, but hold on old chap ! What have we here. A flange of gigantic proportions. For what reason, only Mr Yamahamoto himself knows.

Fire up the grinder - I'm going back in !

To hell with big flanges!

I will be back !

More....but same

Sometimes life isn't very exciting. In fact it's pretty much same old - same old.....most days
So, your old Uncle Albert unfortunately doesn't have a life changing technical journal to share with you.................but hold on.........don't desert me.............I have small news.......worthy of a couple of minutes of any Vinatafakers time surely.
Today I have been down 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' armed with my dremel, I have reduced the lump of Yamaha aluminium still further.............yes, my little whizzy grinder buzzed and buzzed till hot to the touch....creating art from what was once a hideous Yamaha Icon.....
A tarts ride...slowly edging to the right side of the track.....
200gms of sidecasing now resides in the dustbin.....
More to do, but I wanted you all to flavour the cut, the precision, the brutality of an Sunday afternoon in the company of several grinding discs.
Long may 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' be hooked up to 240volts.............(and a beer pump)

Who's next for shaving ?

Greetings Vintafakers. Albert here.

It's been a strange few months down in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'. Normally it's a mans world ! Definitely not a place for wimin, what with the oil and the grease, the smell of the MIG and not least the big spiders that dangle from the rafters. Heidi seemed to like it, and her close friends have no complaints either, but they are all gone.

I'm all alone.

Even the radio has fallen silent......bit of damp on a diode maybe.....

Time for your Old Uncle Albert to get back on track.

The right track of Vintafaking and Brewing deadly ciders.

So, pre-Heidi I was on a mission. An important mission to save XV Virago riders from a life in the wilderness and a ride without soul.

Yes, I can help them ! With basic hand tools I plan to change world attitude. Make my mark upon the earth, and beyond (who knows where this blog goes)

Memory is a funny old thing, it doesn't survive after soaking in cider, so after various soakings I'm not sure if I showed you this picture before. Hey, what the hell I'll post it again. Its the sorry image of a XV535 Virago engine. Owned mainly by choirboys and Bishops these motors are in desperate need of correction. In fact they probably enjoy it !

Let's do it ! Let's VINTAFAKE !

Big disc in the grinder, correction lines drawn, goggles on, I'm going in.......

Still more to do with the whizzy dremel, but the main lines are now set. I've trimmed the crancase cover too. Ugly is good, lightweight is good, function and form thats what we want not all this 'pretty boy' stuff. If it's of no use then cut it off !


Note- I am only offering to correct VX motors. Choirboys and Bishops need not apply....

Stay tuned - Alb