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Monday, 8 June 2015

Headlampius Mantadius part 9

I'm on a roll….....(and a mission.). The juices of mojo could dry as quickly as they started to flowed........what could be worse than end up squeeky and unlubricated mid flow?
Its a case of making hay while the sun shines.....and making groundbreaking technological advances whilst ya Old Uncle Albert still has blood flowing through his Left Anterior Descending Artery. (Blimey, didn't plan on  this small jotting resulting in a biology class that could possibly help all vintabiologicalists pass 'O' level science.)
My Mantadius's have been pushing firmly forward for a very long time. (Painful in the winter when frost settles on the protruding naked thrusters), time to join the dots and make them earn their keep. Their task until the end of time is to hold the 7" Lucas replica headlight that many moons ago I imported specially from India.
Bolts that befit this work of art are not likely to be found at the local engineering stores or even at the best motorcycle emporiums in Delhi...
I, Albert Crackleport would have to use the full facilities of The Old Sidevalve Bar to manufacture threaded eye candy of such magnitude never before seen in the civilised world.
Large knobs always attract interest, (particularly with the younger chicks, so I'm told) so, I was lucky to be offered a couple that had seen plenty of action years ago but were now being retired. Look on it as a career change, no retirement yet I'm afraid.


Gonna rescue those adjustment screws from a couple of old welding gas regulators, rework them to fit their new purpose, time has come to serve mankind in a useful way again.


Knob threads turned and retapped to suit headlight.....



Delhi-delicious firmly fixed to Headlampius Mantadius


It's near enough to beer o'clock as makes no odds...where's Posh?
Do I have to ask every time?
POSH!!!!!!!!!!  Where's mi pop?

Saturday, 6 June 2015

So, how good is that?...I'm back grinding in the groove.........After dusting off the cobwebs that have shielded the VBobber from prying eyes over winter the task next on my 'to do list' was to sort out some sort of speedo worm drive mechanism. The front wheel hub that once graced one of BSAs finest roadburners has no means of turning a worm.........not only that but a suitable worm turner started to be troublesome to find in a global internet search.........mine needed to dress on the left, and all the Smiths type were right hangers.
Hey, A leap of faith is not a scary thing to do. Life would stop without risk. After all £8 ain't gonna break the bank and a start had to be made somewhere. I purchased a popular brand of replica on eBay from Willenhall Scooters...a KMC (famous since 1976)


Could the drive be reversed ? Looking at the aluminium housing it's symmetrical shape suggested that the cable drive could exit either end........clever old Smiths.....
The blanking plug was only cheapo plastic and soon popped out with pliers.....followed by 'the worm'.  A drift in the form of a 6mm Allen headed bolt fit perfectly down the worm hole and in no time my KMC (famous since 1976) was in pieces.


And back together as a left hander.....


Now, gotta connect this little gem of India goodness to the piece of treasure that once was produced in the kingdom of BSA. Way back in the '60s....blimey, Wild Thing by the Troggs was blasting out on the wireless when this hub was cast...…phuff...make's ya think...
Here's where good luck takes over from careful planning.....(doesn't really matter how it happens as long as it does....)
The KMC (famous since 1976) seemed to fit perfectly on the near side of the hub.....If I cut a couple of locating slots in the hub then big chance I'd be reading some sort of numericals on my Smiths replica speedo....hey, can't wait..
With a steady hand and triple checking of measurements before proceeding I cut 2 very accurate slots in the BSA hub.....stress was high....what if my low tech grinder slipped.....what if....what if.......
Didn't happen...
Kept focused.....slots cut to super accuracy.
Luck still helping insured that the felt sealing washer for the KMC(famous since 1976) was exactly the same size as the BSA hub bearing housing.....Lucky bastard or what?


Spacer produced on the Myford to allow the Smiths replica KMC (famous since 1976) to fit nice and tight against the wheel bearing......
Chuffin  satisfied with that so far.....

POSH......pour me a scrumpy in the biggest flagon ya can find.....ya know I deserve 1.    or 2.   or 3 even.…

Thursday, 28 May 2015

Alien Abduction......

ALBERT......where ya been dude?    
I think I've been abducted....in fact I more than think...I known......Yep..I remember as plain as day....I'd been fighting against the technology tsunarmi of G4 permenant connectivity that seems to have blighting our younger generation. The poor souls seem to be plugged in to the matrix 24\7......…...What the hell are they doing????????And why?????????What's going on??????
I know the Vintafaker blog is worth a stop and looksee occasionally but blimey what can be so absorbing on this internetty thingy...…???????? It's a ploy by the Chinese to undermine the British Empire...Stop our world supremecy by killing verbal communication and reduce Boy Scouts participating in bob-a-job week!
Standing against must be the right cause of action.....A worthy cause for sure that fighting for landed me in deep trouble........
I somehow lost my freedom to choose......yes, chose how I send my messages to fellow brethren........... I used my steam powered Technico MK1. In it's day it pulled the chicks! And plenty of 'um


A transmitter  to the world.....nay, the universe...and as many Pan's People lookalikes you could wish for.
That's how come I lost 6 months of my life........I was forceably adjusted.....
by 'the majority' ( A gang of PC World shoppers jumped me unexpectedly..)..Yes, without anesthetic my Technico was removed and a tablet implanted in the orifice. Not only that but my Ethernet cabling was sold for scrap and an unreliable WiFi has taken it's place...
Progress ? my arse.....!   I'm now an android softwarer....all my buttons have moved......phuff.....life's too short for this........
Watch this space.....




Posh...any chance of a beer and 'satin hotpant' night? It'll help get the mojo flowing...


Friday, 14 November 2014

Rites of Passage

Greetings blog surfers..... A.C here with another chapter of Cracklestatic v Dr Electromagnetic  ! (3D version available) Glad you are reading this because if you are then it means you are still on the right side of technology.........and still alive. Thank goodness, someones there !!!!!!!!
Yep ! I've been telling you dudes for yonks......WiFi and all this other computor tablet crap is frying mankinds insides. Holy Electrosmog Batman !!! ......If you think you are at risk then repent whilst there's still time !!!
Cleanse your body in the 'R' oils of Castrol.......and deep flush your internals with 'The Cream of Manchester'
In the meantime I've re-set the Special Anti-Smog Vinta-filters so this blog will only will transmit via copper cable.
So there !!!! I ain't gonna be responsible for no E.M.F killer...


Before you all dash off to sever the WiFi umbilical connection to the 'world of digital make-believe' I've important news...
I underwent a most challenging test last weekend.....a test of  knowledge, patience, and more importantly a turning point in life.... Putting my reputation as a Vintafaker on the line. Failure was not an option. Success would earn me the Rite of Passage.
Hum, Rite of Passage usually means cutting skin off a dangly bit to expose a 'bobbies helmet'. No sir...
the route to The Masonic Lodge of Vintafake is through unaided wheel building...and maintaining a hooded knight. (Uncut crowns are discouraged due to their proximity to the hands during ceremonial handshakes)
Enough of the secret ways of the ancients.....! 

The parts are on the bench, let the challenge begin.
It was at least 18months ago I sourced these parts from a specialist. The spokes and rim built to order by 'Butons Bike Bits as they are not standard fitment for the hub.
Parts list - BSA C15 Hub. (Modified to accept Virago axle) 19" rim. Stainless spokes. (treated myself to a set of spoke keys too.)

Tested my home built truing stand before the off

Looks like it might work


After fixing a few spokes into the hub and correct holes in the rim the spoke pattern seemed to find itself...

Hey, maybe this is going to work !

Final couple of spokes.
Spin and start truing...........

Blimey Posh ! I've done it !!!! Lets have a big celebration with my most favorite beer. !
MORT SUBITE (which is exactly what will happen to me if this wheel collapses at speed)

Proper glass too ! 




Saturday, 1 November 2014

Faint heart never won a fair maiden...





Hey Dudes......It's me 'A.C.'
Back for another exciting episode of 'Vintafaker Superhero' and the Battle for Planet Analogue.
Yes, old A.C. your champion gladiator against the evil overlord 'G4 Digital Tablet-man'

So, let's get stuck in........let the mojo juices flow through The Old Sidevalve Bar.......
As the old saying goes..Faint heart never won a fair maiden....in other words ya ain't gonna get anywhere if ya don't try.... and I'm feeling like I need to grind..........to cut............or to saw SOMETHING !.....

Many moons ago I'd cut vent holes in the VBobber back brake plate. A popular race modification when having unleashing the full power of a Virago the need to slow to a respectable 120mph becomes necessary.

It's now the turn of the ultra rare BSA front brake plate to undergo the same treatment. An almost priceless piece of vintage Birmingham alloy is about to be doubled in pricelessness.....


Drilling the corners of the holes and hacking out the middle.........all helped by 'shedjuicemojo'

 Blimey.....Virago and BSA are near a perfect match......Even I have to stand back in amazement....


Before and After....Hands up all who favour the left.........Aye lad, it makes sense, us old guys know best !
What did I tell ya........Faint heart never fucked a pig ! which suits this modified Virago perfectly....cos it never was a fair maiden....


Posh ! I'm thinking we should celebrate with a touch of continental sophistication tonight...
How's about we do a Westmalle in a 'proper' glass chalice ?
Remember....Small sips.....not big gulps...






Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Working the white powder Part 5 or Art ! But not as we know it Jim !


I'm back !   it's me.......Alibertie Cracklesnortie....


Ok, hands up all those who thought I had dropped off the end of the analogue transmitter .......gone for good, an outcast in a sea of G4 touch screen phone ticklers....unwilling to adopt and embrace today's digital normality.  Correct ! No normal here.....only good solid 'old skool' stuff.  My screen doesn't swipe selfies and I'm proud of it !
Selfies........ Swiping images back 'n' forth......What's all that about. Wasn't even invented when I started this blogging lark.....
Ee by eck......Just another total time wasting activity..Mark my words when ya get to the Pearly Gates I'll be betting ya wish ya could have that time back.....Yep, I wasted a total of a 1/3rd of mi life in bed, a 1/4 of mi life taking and swiping silly pictures of mi 'sen and a 1/4 of mi life pasting it all on facebook !!!!!! No way mate...ya not coming thru these gates......!!

Anyway's enough of the Albert life after death improvement tips here's my latest blog page full of quality creativeness. In fact I'd go as far as to say it's real proper art, only possible when two half pissed artists feel the mojo....What you are about to witness is indeed Tate Gallery standard !!!!

So, here's how the project to create a couple of tank badges for the VBobber progressed when Oilyracer Koen visited 'The Old Sidevalve Bar a couple of months ago. My chum Koen went to a real Belgium art college ! I have an Art 'O' Level from1972 ! (Tha' didn't give qualifications away for just turning up when I was small) so we do know what wi doing !!!! Oh yes !

Using the mould I had made with Angelina from tooth moulding rubber way back in June we cast a couple of tank badge blanks in Plaster of Paris.  The process worked brilliant ! Anyone need a full set of falsies casting whilst I have the gear out ? Pearly white smiles could be my speciality.....or a couple of singles to fill the gaps?


Then much sketching of circles.......art-deco style wings.......Marvel comic type speed flashes.......


transferring scribbles on paper to scribbles on plaster.....


Luckily the pepper pot and a couple of tea cups were just the right size to get the rounds.


I'm having AC (for guess who) and some bad ass shark gills (sort of)


Hey, when ya working freehand and by the 'rack of''t eye' ya need a big rubber.......


 Once the design was drawn then it was time to craft the levels with our super professional craft tool....Bought at the local handyman stores (Albert supports local businesses) A 'Silverline scapel'


 It comes with more blades than you could possibly need.......because the handle is so bloody crap there's no way all of them will be used ! What do you expect for £3...a lifetime guarantee ???
Quality tools man !
Much scalpelling with the precision of a surgeon brought out the detail in the Plaster of Paris pattern.
My hand shock as I offered the carving into the badge orifice of the old BSA tank...the blurred image catching the very moment one of a kind met mass produced...
Pheeewww  Weeee!!!!!!
Now to make a matching pair !!!!!!!



The 'AC Special' VBobber has taken a step nearer completion....


The two Plaster of Paris tank badge patterns have now being transported safely to a secret Belgium Aluminium Casting  Foundry. Here they will be replicated in a special mix of smelted aluminium that contains at least 50% Triumph Bonneville engine casings......

From the ashes of a Virago a Phoenix is rising.........A Bobber of Bobbers.......

Posh !!!!!  It's beer o'clock.......Let's get stuck in !!!!

Monday, 15 September 2014

thoughts and stuff....

GREETINGS ! Alobertie here
Glad you tuned in to the old Vintafake blog....because its a small part of digital earth that happens to.....
dunno what it happens to do dudes but hey ! We happen big time on this timeline
Blogging......is it all about gorgeous Raquel Welch shaped motorsickles ? or is it about more than that ?
Hey ! If its about real stuff with curves....... here's where we are at the Old Sidevalve Bar with 'Lovely Maroon'
Bought me some stainless bolts to further the fork fitment project...Phew! man this stuff is just drop dead gorgeous!..Just wanna look and fondle all day long........
Especially that Top Yoke clamping bolt.....just look at the nut on that baby !.....Perfect !
Anyway, looking and fondling don't get nuffin' done so lets fit these stainless deliciousness's into the correct
locations and stand back.....
Phew...Eye candy for sure !

POSH !!!!!!!! I'm overdosing on Maroon'ness......Somethings gonna go pop !
Splash me with ale before I meltdown................