Vinta-Translate

Monday 25 July 2011

A Grand Day Owt. Part2

Are you sitting comfortably. Then I shall begin.....where was I ? Ah yes,






Destination - Brew Pub. Litton. Sounds harmless enough, what could possibly go wrong ? Gulp, sharp intake of breath.................

Well, It took all of 5 minutes on entering before Fifi and The Baroness were zipping up their jackets, and ready for the off.............in fact it was less than that................one look at the bar menu was enough.

£7.00 for a tuna mayo on a couple of slices of Warburtons................thats what did it..........It's not Bettys (of Harrogate) you know !!!!

Dick Turpin is alive and still robbing travellers in Littondale..STAND AND DELIVER...

Oh.........The Baroness mentioned something about a plague of flies living on the ceiling !


Fire up the Pems Basil ! We are on the move (again)...


That's how come 'I' Albertmostos Crackleporttortoiseness came to experience a small part of the Dales that has been unchanged for many decades..........


Introducing - The Falcon Inn at Arncliffe.

Where ale is drawn from the barrel and served by the jug. (Just like in Grandads day)




Choice of beers -Timothy Taylors, Timothy Taylors or Timothy Taylors.




Choice of bar meals - Ham sandwich, cheese sandwich or pie n peas.
Guess I'll be having the pie n peas then wi loads of fresh mint sauce......(healthy option)
Where it doesn't pay to be a wabbit when theres a hunting party of Beagles coming thru'.






L.B.P and Shiney No3 award The Falcon a Pembleton Star. (Better than any Michelin Star !)

2 happy Pembletons wind their way over the moors on the homeward run




All's well that ends well..........

Sunday 24 July 2011

A Grand Day Owt.

Tempus Fugit and all that guff. Even your old uncle Albert can't hold back time. It had to be now or never !.This weekend or never !
What's 'appening now O' master?
In a matter of days a 'Vintafaker' from a foreign land would journey northwards. On a mission to collect what his rightfully his. I, Alberteeni Crackleportvincento would have to agree to sign the papers of L.B.P. and wave goodbye................Goodbye to a playful young thing that has happily slept under a thin sheet outside 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' for ney on 3 of those luna cycles.

So, if a mind meld with shiney No3 was going to happen it better start happening double quick.
Basil.K. Splutteripe(the Phantom Polisher of old Eccleshill town) would be guiding Shiney through the days proceedings and yours truly would make sure LBP stayed between the hedges.

Shiney No3 slowly approaches LBP in preparation for a European Mind Meld..............
Those of a nervous disposition please turn away now.....................
Phew.............

Phew, thank goodness that mating section is over, the fresh farm aromas await..............Let's head into the country........
Riding shotgun would be Fifi La Downdraught and The Baroness Von Battenburg. Both keeping an eye on proceedings and making sure their (most trustworthy)men didn't stray off the straight and narrow. Because by crikey there's plenty of dangers in thum thear Dales.

Dangers - Mainly inns and pubs that tease the unsuspected with wonderful flagons of 'Black Sheep Bitter'.........Slowly tiring those that allow the juice to pass their lips, until the weak collapse into the moorland heather.....sound asleep......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
FEAR NOT ! Basil and Albert are fully trained in the art of Bitter quoffing..........Alertness is our game, it takes more than 2 Black Sheep to stop an Original Pembletoneer..
Forwaaaaaaaaaaaard-
The march........whoops sorry the route..........would be as follows.
Otley, Ilkley, Beamsley Beacon, Storiths, Appletreewick, Kilnsey, Arncliffe, Litton.

Beamsley conquered - The water splash at Storiths awaits

What's the rush ? For dear reader we had hear of a special watering hole.
A brew pub (Litton Brewery) It would be too rude not to stop and test the goodness now wouldn't it.
Stay tuned Vintafaker fans. This tale of 'derring do' has only just begun...........

Sunday 17 July 2011

Ha Haaa ! Hands up all those who thought I had disappeared down a deep pickling vat never to be seen again......Trust me ! It is I Albertotominus Crackleportious. Master of the world of Vintafaking. I won't let you down..........I have returned.....from mi shed.
Here to tell all those who have taken the time to log onto this worthy information site that your choice is a good un' yes, here speaketh the authorised..........................Authorised what ? Hell, I have no idea but believe me I am authorised.

Albert old chap, what have you been doing today?

Well, I have been a filing and a grinding for near on 2 of your earth days....shaping metal into gorgeous curvacious lovelyness.
Behold.........................I shall unveil the fruits of my labours. (The unveiling of the family Crackleportious fruits may be later, only time will tell.)
Right.- No1 -
I have transfered the cardboard engine mount template into real life metal. Grinding, filing, sanding, and finally drilling.
Behold -
Phew - Masterpiece -
Then, a question for the Virago knowbodies, and anyone else who collects trivia.
How much does a XV535 back brake plate weigh ? Big yawn, I know, hardly world stopping science.........
The big lump of Japanese Yamahahahah metal weighs in at 1.6Kgs. You know , some poor chinese 8yr old will have been 2 month underground digging the ore to make this boat anchor.

So ? It's monstorous !
So - I'm gonna trim some fat !

Coming along nicely, Hands up all those that want to see this baby trimmed down to the bone.
I'll let you know what the fighting weight is when its finished.
More filing..............................good job I like filing......................

Hang on, what is in this flagon that is before me................Cider..........? Here end this transmission.

Friday 8 July 2011

Engine meets frame

It may be raining outside but in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' it's happy smiley sunshining. Thats because there's been much thinking between cups of Italys finest coffee washed down with an occasional Jaffa cake. (not dunked) Thinking is good, Karma, Zen and all that malarkey....coming together as a mighty force to help your Uncle Albert undo the wrong doings in a Virago.....
Well, one think thats gonna get adjusted big time is the steering geometry. I don't like layed back steering angles. Virago specification claims 31 degrees rake.....I'm aiming to reduce that by 4-5 degree. 27 degrees would be nice......like proper handling bikes....
As the frame will be chopped at the back anyway I shall tilt the front forward.....thus reducing rake without altering steering head frame construction. (and thus dear vintafakerfan safe me from the dreaded requirement to visit an MSVA inspector. HaHa !)

I'll be making an engine mount something like the original (which I don't have) except better because mine will be made out of 25mm angle cut from a road sign....council quality...oh yes.

Note how the frame has been dropped to within a fag paper of the cylinder head...
(The cardboard I will replace with something stronger.....maybe)

Once these engine plates are constructed I 'think' I can cut the frame and keep the alignments.
Certainly the steering head to engine will be ok. I'll bolt the back engine mounts in position again and hey presto...as they contain the swing arm mount all should be back in position for fabricating the rear........Now you can see why I did a lot of thinking..........
but quality thinking takes time....
and thinking makes me thirsty...................................... so I'm off to fill mi flagon 'cause boy am I thirsty.

Thursday 7 July 2011

Going in the right direction...?

Today I ground my flange. Painless and most satisfying.



She's now a beaut ! Trimmed, curvy, and ready for action. Just like a good flange should be.