Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Greetings 'Lord Timberlake'
Here's a get well message from Yorkshireshireshireshire.
Get thee' 'sen better reet sharpish old chap. There's homebrew to be drunk and we need ya help doing it.!!
In the meantime here's a couple of shots of a reet little beaut to get ya pecker pulsing !

Not forgetting all the best from Martina Halberstadt-Fokkerstrudle' the new 'Fire Bucket Stocker' down at The Old Sidevalve Bar' xxxxxx

Sunday, 25 November 2012

Victory for the Common man.............and the T.A.F.F.s of 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'

Hear Yee ! Hear Yee ! Vintabloggo's. It is 'I' Alberto Cracklepants.
Today I bring good news to the long suffering citizens of Blighty.   
I can confirm that Justice and Equal rights for all Commonors of Yorkshireshireshire has taken one small step forward and nearer our quest for independancy. Yes, 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' will one day be a micronation where freedom of trade and the drinking of beer attract nil tax.
Thank's to the support from a small group of covert agents operating from within the pickling vaults under 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' we have taken on The Border Agency Weasels and WON !
It has been a long and arduous battle. .....Attack and counter attack............Thrust and parry.....
The turnip shovel our weapon, the 'V' sign our symbol of hope.....
(the shemagh and desert sunglasses.......? Answers on  We may not be alone !)

T.A.F.F.s - Thin Ankle Freedom Fighters. 
 "those Fuzzie Wuzzies they don't like the cold steel up 'em" !
Yesterday I received a missive from 'Border Force' They have reviewed my case for a refund and have reduced the duty payable on my 'Collectable Motorcycle Part' from 20% to 5%. Money to be sent to my Swiss bank account to escape further taxation.

 There you have it.....job done....I reckon that's been worth it. A long journey but a worthwhile one...I've ended up paying about £2 duty, and for that I've had letters from 3 goverment departments, and my claim has been to 4 goverment departments....keeping the buggers busy......someone has to !!!!!

 Hip Hip Hurray ! Hip Hip Hurray ! Hip Hip Hurray!
Bring me 2 x flagons Posh - Tis' time to celebrate

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Life lessons

Greetings 'Vintabloggies'.
Tee Hee ! Vintabloggies! (Hey ! You won't find that in the English dictionary...Brand new tonight !)

So, what's new Albert ?
Well, thought maybe you dear readers would be interested not only in gorgeous lovely vinta-sickles but also in lubricants. Yes, lubricants of the tonsils and clacker ! Commonly known as BEER !
Just like a good sickle, beer lubrication has to be made in a shed not bought at the shop !'s life lesson No1....
Follow me into 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' it's time the wisdom of the elders was passed on....

Amazing - Top Secret stuff - Hops from Yorkshireshireshire.....Small but perfectly formed....
 Add to beer and boil 1 hour to infuse....mmmmmmm
Filter through baking sieve, cool to 20degC. Add a dollop of yeast and stand back....
This is alcohol being made - even as you sleep !!!!
There's other bit's to this brewing lark but I've shown the action stuff........

Whilst the alcohol slowly builds inside the bucket to some super strength knock you down with a feather percentage level there's time to do some Vintafaking.....
I'm still perfecting my zinc plating techniques and it didn't take me long to decide wire-brushing rust bits is for wuzzies. What I needed was a macho blast cabinet.
Macho as in Hey dude, you have your own blasting equipment ? WOW
Own blasting equipment ? Yes, I have indeed, but once again it's small but perfectly formed.
Homebuilt too !

Here's how - 
Main cabinet - Ikea toybox.
Inspection screen/lid - Greenhouse window.
Gun and grit came free with the VBobber
Instructions for use -
Dangle in arms at open corners and cover gap with an old towel....The grit makes my hands tingle a bit.
(mental note - rubber gloves required)
(second mental note - must put window back in greenhouse before winter)
Equivalant spec at Machine Mart over £300 !!!!!!!

Time to fill my flagon and quoff a couple for the alcohol fairies are always busy in the shed and the tap never see's to run dry.........

Monday, 19 November 2012

Another shot across the bows.

Yes indeed, Albert here.
Thought I'd get the week off to an honourable start with another shot across the bows of Weasel H.Q. Better known to most citizens of this fair and just land as THE ROYAL MAIL.
My previous correspondance obviously fell amongst all the other undelivered letters never to see the light of day again deep down under Ye Olde Tower 'O' London.......
Slight slip up at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' on the previous attack (letter) is the fact that my proof of posting has been through a full wash cycle in my back pocket......unreadable.....and soggy......are words best describing this most important document......The Baroness has denied any responsibility...!!!????!!!....confessing only to removing any money in the pockets before turning the dial to 40degree.....economy cycle....
Nay Nay and Trice Nay......Fear not...'I' Albert Cracklepoticus have quickly attacked with a secondary missive.....
Tomorrow I will once more enter the House of Mail.......Approach the bullet proof glass......bend down and whisper through the slot at counter level.....
'Hey Pat take this message to ya Queen and dunna spare them horses"

Oh aarrr ! Flagon tyme!