Vinta-Translate

Monday 30 September 2013

Working on the 12"er...







Keanu Cracklecrispy here....Greetings! Your journey through the wilderness of Viragoshishkabab is over  Yes , the Holy Grail of Vintafake has led you to a kasbah that offers protection against electronic technology...You are now safe my friend....for this is 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'
Where motorsickles are created by old wise folk who can still co-ordinate hand and eye........and gain satisfaction from hard toil.........

So it was that your Uncle Alb has been pretty damn busy.....working on his 12"er down in the man cave. A foot wide monster that will both astonish and delight once mounted on the VBobber.
First I cut a steel plate to fill the underside and with careful whizzy whizz with the grinder made it a fit to win any perfect fit prize. Then the front fillet was cut and shaped....

It was at this point that I realised that I could fit the front and back sections before the underside and achieve
an almost weld free top....Fully skilled 12" manufacturers will probably know that already but hey.....this is manufacturing in it's rawest state.....solving the engineering problems and creating more....
reactional and counter reactional.. Cut and thrust all in a 6ft x 4ft shed....
So....let's fit the front...because I can
And finally just to test my thought of sealing the weld with solder I did one side. I wanted the tank to look like it was created with solder joints and I had previously thoroughly cleaned the joining area...Hum, Not clean enough.....A bit of a fight ensued with a variety of fluxes, various solders, a large copper headed soldering iron and of course Big Bertha (the residential blowlamp)......
Did manage to get the desired result in the end...
Posh ! Mi throats burning with the flux fumes.....I need a long slow gargle.

Fill mi flagon with buttercup syrup.  

Thursday 26 September 2013

This is Captain Interseptor calling.....are you receiving ?
Captain Interseptor calling the world........Do you hear me ?
This is Captain Interseptor calling the Virago freedom bloggers........
MAYDAY......MAYDAY.....
Ssshhhh ! It's really me ! Keanu Cracklitus ! I'm transmitting a mayday message from the garden for I fear the worst........
Further to my blog entry regarding the free G4 filter it has come to my knowledge that the Blighty government have actioned eavesdropping on Belgium transmissions.........Hey ! I transmit to Belgium !
Check out this link 'Operation Socalist'   The weasels in the listening station on the Yorkshireshireshire moors could well have turned the antenna towards The Old Sidevalve Bar ???? maybe....? by mistake ? Nah !?!


What if the G4 filter is a secret spying device......what if its also records video....what if it's recording my every move ???? eeeek !
POSH ! TURN OFF THE LIGHT ! I DON'T WANT THE GOVERNMENT WATCHING MY FLAGON LIFTING.......It's a private thing.......

I'm telling you all now....Before you know it there will be a tax on G4......

Posh ! I can't feel mi beer.....it's bloody dark in here......

Wednesday 18 September 2013

The BSA B31 that time forgot. Part 10

It must be tastic-tank week !
Keanose Crackleportie here-  In a bid to achieve as much as possible before the G4 radiation effects from the (secretly built) local transmission mast take hold of me entirely I am posting a couple of pictures of 'Lovely Maroons' fuel holding vessel. Now wearing it's pin strips with pride.
Blimey peeps ! The gold paint took some finding......only time will tell if the choice was a good one but I decided on an ebay special brake caliper paint that claims to be oil, petrol, heat....and all that similar stuff resistant.






Posh ! It's well past the beering hour.........Pass mi flagon.......

Tuesday 17 September 2013

What did I tell you !

Albertiso Keanuisi Cracklporticusto here.....
Greetings Peeps ! Glad you are hanging on for the ride.
This blog is mainly about motorsickles. That's because they're pretty damn important. But ! and it's a Big Butt ! (Yes, more of an arse type butt than a pronoun in the Blighty vocabulary) there's another  important subject which I must write and broadcast to all you bloggy peeps, for you deserve to know the truth...
Your Uncle Albertiso has chosen to live without a mobile phone ! Indeed it is amazing BUT possible.In fact it doesn't hurt one bit.
A happening yesterday confirmed this is extremely wise move because the consequences of accepting this technology and more to the point using it will eventually destroy ALL mankind ! Then who'll ride all the motorsickles ?
So, what happened......through the letterbox dropped a small brown package......Didn't order it from no online adult shop you understand.....oh no, it was a free gift for 'The Householder'. Limited edition but because I lived in a certain area I got one...
What did you get old chap ?

It's a TV filter......that eliminates interference from G4 phone signals. I'm one of only 90,000 UK residents to get one........Chosen due to living near a mast..........CHUFFIN MAST ! WHAT MAST ? Who's put a mast up without my knowledge? and more to the point where.....probably hidden inside the church steeple.....(them local choir folk will do anything for money...).
If anything happens to me you all know why !!!!! I'm telling ya all now... 
This phone stuff fries inside your head.

Posh ! Come on ! Let's warn the neighbours !
Oh hang on.......it's beer time. Fill mi flagon with one of your best lip smacking frothy ales.  I don't want to be thirsty when the time does come....


Sunday 15 September 2013

Only Big Polish Sausage Stuffers Need Apply !


Eeeh up Alberti Keanui whats the buzz in the Old Sidevalve Bar asked fellow Yorkshireshireshire flagoneer Basil K.Splut ? There doesn't seem to have been any transmission lately.
So, by popular fanclub demand ! Here's the Vintafaktastic news.
I've had my fingers in a few pies of late.....bit 'o' this and then a bit 'ot' tuther so do try to keep up because this fast forward blog does not have a red button for widescreen catch-up.....(Thank goodness.)

First off then is the progress on the VBobber fuel tank. Now there's a memory test because I bought the tank way back in the distant past.......Cheap ? yes. Likely it fit a VBobber ? only with much imagination and an equal amount of metal manipulation.
I'd let the angle grinder have a play with it so I could see and assess it's full beauty....that was then.

Much impressed with its deep internal rusting I knew I had to use it...
If it was wider then just maybe it would fit my extremely powerful and hairy chested Virago speed machine carrying the precious fuel whilst I cruise the highways and byways of Blighty.
Much cleaning of weld areas has been undertaken. (Mainly because I may need to sweat some solder around the joints at a later date to stop leaks  Hey guys ! I ain't no welding superhero) 
I thought best to weld the top plate from underneath, thus hiding forever the prizewinning blobs.
Tacking first.....


Viewing progress......
Too wide?????? Nah !

Much work yet to do but look.....It's a full 12"er......so riding 'legs akimbo' will be required.
Which I'm led to believe is a Polish Sausage Stuffers Speciality.

Isn't it Agnieszka ?

Posh ! You're always telling me size is important...


So fill my biggest flagon with ale and have a look at this 'big-boy'!!!!



Sunday 1 September 2013

VBobber revisited

GREETINGS ! Albertioso Keanoo here to help all Vintabloggies surviving the daily digital bullshi*
Alternative lifestyle tips are my speciality along with surgical phone removal...Like an appendix - ya don't need one to live !!!!!!
Having just returned from my jolly holidays over in Arcade-land I thought I'd have a look around 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' and try refresh my remaining memory cells on what I was getting up to.
Aah yes, the VBobber. Somehow pushed into the background after the unveiling of Lovely Maroon. At great expense I have purchased a micro-chuck. That's because I need to drill a couple of holes in a tight spot. The wheel bearing in the BSA (boat anchor) brake only locates against a flange at one side. The other side is free to wander in the hub....ok for a 1960's C15 but highly unlikely to satisfy the technical edge all Virago owners have come to expect from their thoroughbred steeds. No, modification with an insert fixed internally before bearing fitment should satisfy even the most butch of the bunch.


At the moment this drilling operation is still in the planning stage. I know the chuck goes where I need it to, but...and here's a big but (or even a BIG BUTT) the chuck needs driving and more importantly it needs fixing to something for support.
So, tonight as I see it, and of course plans can change
1) Mount chuck on an internal probing arm
2) Drive chuck via belt from an external motor.
3) Don't spend much money on this one, it's only got to drill 4 holes. (low spend is the biggest challenge)
4) Don't plan when the sun is over the yardarm.....cause that's drinking time

Posh - I see no sun.....Either I've gone blind or it's Flagon time !

So, that should leave you pretty much in the dark as to whats happening, a bit like me then !!!
.