Headlampius Mantodea Part 6 - Delhi Delighty

Greetings Vintafaker fans.
Did I open the hand sewn sack from Delhi ?
Yep, eventually curiosity got the better of me. Snip snip went the scissors and I was in....
Ooooh.....it's a genuine Madbull motorcycle part.....Neat !
Quality......Rare........Just like the real thing....(but better)..........
My headlamp will be all of these and more.........

The box didn't rattle so there's still hope the glass is in one piece....
More snipperty snipping of box and I'm the first person in Blighty to view this valuable import......
Hey....what did I tell you ?
मुझे बताओ कि तुम आदमी नुक़सान, इस हेडलाइट बहुत अच्छी गुणवत्ता आइटम है.बेहतरीन शेफ़ील्ड स्टील से बनाया गया था.अपनी मोटर साइकिल के लिए भाग्य लाएगा.

I like my lucky lucky Madbull Genuine Replica Royal Enfield Delhi Headlight......
I'm gonna wear it today in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'......How cool is that ?

Flaaaaaaaaagoooooooooooon time.......
Let's drink to all those naked Royal Enfield delivery riders who rode day and night to bring vintafake happiness to your Uncle Albert......cheers guys !

Big tease - Strip tease

Fill ya flagons vintabloggeees for today is a good day...

a day of teasing..........and tickle-ation........mmmmmmm wonderful

I woke up very excited..........because I knew that a large package awaited my attention.....mmmmm
I had been forewarned !
The Royal Enfield Delivery Team had traversed hill and dale.......mountain and valley.......
crossed many continents and seas to finally reach 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' in deepest Yorkshireshireshireshire.....
Knock..Knock....It's me Young Licky-Vicky Royal Enfield Delivery Service Rider with a parcel for Albert....

Blimey........There's a theme here ..... no clothes required if Enfield mounted.........
Whatever.......I took the goods in hand........and gazed at them in awe.......a sight to behold......
Presented perfect despite the mileage..........
with a soft outer......
and an untouched centre......Phew.....


Gather round - Have a closer look at what Albert has had in his hands today...

Wrapped in swaddling clothes.........
Preciousness from Delhi.......
Ya gonna have to wait a bit before I cut this little baby open........I'm still eyeing up the handywork on the outside..........

Flagon time.......and deep breaths.......this isn't good for the old ticker......

Vicky and the Famous Royal Enfield Emporium

Who's Vicky ?............What and where's the 'Famous' Royal Enfield Emporium ?
Yes vintabloggers, once more I shall bring education to your armchair. Light a pipe, pour a small sherry and relax for here on this very page you will read of how Vicky became the Headlampy Queen of Delhi

Here's a picture of Vicky with the Bolshoi Bicyclettes. She's 2nd from the left with the large knobbly knees.
Travelling the Gulag Archipelago in a swimsuit, white ankle socks and a crash hat made of flowers was no life for this Moscow Hottie, Nay.....................and thrice nay........................Sharing a saddle with five others is beyond any human endurance.
The call of the Bhuna was overwelming....
Taking only leather gauntlets and 40 woodbines Vicky jumped on the first motor vehicle available and headed south ..................and further south ......................and even more south.

The journey was arduous.......................taking it's toll on the machine and clothing as the pair crossed desert, mountain and jungle.
The sidecar was lost .................. then the flowers ........................  .the socks and hat too ..................... the gauntlets ................. and eventually the swimsuit                      

But Vicky rode on.....................Destination Delhi................

Take care Vicky - Safe journey.. See you in Delhi.....

Meanwhile......down at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'

The Headlampius Mantodea project is on hold at the moment. Due to the fact that I'm waiting the arrival of a most extremely importanty packagey from Delhi. Yes, the worlds No1 manufacturing hotspot for all motorcycley vintafakey parts is of course Vicky's Royal Enfield Emporium - situated just off the main Rajasthani-kadhi highway.

I 

I've purchased from this most reliable of sources at a velly excellenty pricey a Genuine Delhi Royal Enfield Headlampy. 

 Ruppees have been exchanged and the part is allegedly heading towards the border with the courier service of Korma & Bharji. At this moment they are heading over the snow covered Himalyan pass of Khardung La. At 5602m it takes a dedicated team to attempt such a traverse without Brighty Whities and socks.......

Good luck guys......we are thinking of you !!!!!!

Flagons are raised....and will remain so until the 'Genuine Delhi Royal Enfield Headlight' arrives.....

More news on Vicky and the Famous Royal Enfield Emporium will surely follow.......

Headlampius Mantodea Part 5

The good news is Uncle Billy Bob is safely home..
and the Polish Gerkin Skinners are back doing what they do best......
Let's Vintafake !
Last job on the Forkius Shroudios was to turn the final top locating ring to size. The outer diameter was unknown until they were cut to the correct height due to the taper......
How many brass rings have been turned Albert ? Dunno, looking down the shroud orifice there looks to be hundreds......if not thousands.....

Easy stuff is brass ringing ........now it's time to turn up the heat.
A job for Big Bertha.....with optional screw on No4 gas nozzle attachment.......
Yes, not for the faint hearted I can tell you but I'm ready..........
I'm about to enter the world of Silver Soldering......
FLAME ON !
Just to get me in the soldering groooooooove I started with the 3 part bottom headlampius mantodea support. Fixing the brass bobbins to the clamping face before drilling to accept the 10mm brass rods that will one day bend gracefully skywards to locate with the top support bobbins.....That's the plan anyway...
Only time will tell if this is going to work.....and you dear Vintabloggies will be the first to know

 

In the meantime I have what would best be described as VBobber Ramming Bars.
If this starts a trend ? Why shouldn't it ?
Hey, before ya know it the Prince of Tighty Whities will have some on his L.A. chop.

"Wench.. Fill my flagon with ya best ale for my rammers are ready."

Carrot Moonshine

Hey Dudes.........it's ya Uncle Albert here.
Just had a big weekend dooon tha Old Sidevalve Bar.....
Yep, first off had to distil ma carrot whiskey into a reet potent juice for a few of the Old Soaks at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'. Festive season and all that......(They know who they are)
Obviously ma distillation process is super secret.....done in the dead of night over peat fires......
5 gallon of carrot alcohol in.........1 gallon of of finest Carrot Whiskey out.....
Mi homemade still which is cunningly disguised as a central heating boiler to fool the lawmen has served mi well for many a year..
But, hey, this years batch wasn't bottled without incident....
Here's what happened....
Business as usual in 'The Bar'........goodly amounts of brew being consumed...... all happy !

Outback.......in the shed.......I've got the lastest brew on the boil, thanks to Big Bertha our resident blowlamp the vapours are rising.....and condensing........and dripping slowly but surely into the whiskey barrel...

Trouble is mi Uncle Billy-Bob has had a few too many
All of a suddern the Polish Gerkin Skinners are screeching like banshees......
ogień piekło ....... głupie Bastad będzie ustawić jego własny zapalone..................

Uncle Billy-Bob had secretly been on the distillate !!!!!!!"
One spark away from a 'Ring of Fire'
Thankfully the Polish Gerkin Skinners pulled him clear ............
Phew..........

Peace resided and the bottling continued ..........
2012 Carrot Whiskey has passed all tests......

Brew done - Let's Vintafake -
Later.........Better get Uncle Billy-Bob pointed in the direction of home..........
Keep checking the vintafaker blogspot for more action down at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'
Pour me a big un Katarzyna ya lovely Kiełbasa Polska tickler....I'm thirsty after all that excitement

Headlampius Mantodea Part 4

Greetings Bloggies - More news from the Vinta-net.
Hey, another new word. 'Vinta-net'  - meaning - Internet (but older)....
That's 2 new words in as many weeks.....
'Educating Albert'  that's me ......(or was that a film ?)

More creative juices have flowed.
More brass has turned..
Is there no end to this madness 
...............hahahahah...........hahahhahahahh........hahahahhahahahhahaah

The observant bloggies amongst you will have noticed the brand spanking new bearing fit to the steering stem that was plated so wonderfully last weekend. I know.....splashed some cash I did. Not only did I buy a bottom bearing but phew-wheee a top bearing was purchased also.....
This double dip into the piggy bank meant I could fit the aformentioned steering parts and get some accurate measurements for the finishing of the fork shrouds and remaining bracketry associated with the Headlampius Mantodea.
I wanted the shrouds to remain free of fixings.....I wanted the headlampius mounticuses to be lightweight looking from the side.......I wanted to make sure that the whole lot doesn't come tumbling down and jam the front wheel when I get to Mach2 speed......That's a lot of  'I wants' and not much 'I know hows'.
So, think, think, and think some more....even when the 'Polish ladies' from the neighbouring Picalilli Factory popped round for a cuppa I didn't stop thinking........why would I ?...

Miserable lot they are anyway - defected from the Wieliczka Salt Mines to skin and chop Gerkins in Yorkshireshireshire !
Hardly a good career move..but hey.....no more golabki for breakfast.

Finally came to the conclusion that my underneath support would transend in a forward pointing direction from the bottom clamping bolt area.......possibly have a sensual twist around the headlampius bowlicus and join the mantodea supports in a profusion of brass and silver solder.      
Total Bollocks ? Maybe ? Maybe not ? I'll say it again for the hard of reading....
Believe my friend in the Vintafake pioneering spirit for it will enrich your soul.......science and engineering pushed to the outer edges of the universe........it's happening here......forget the Large Hadron Collider...bounderies of nano-quark reality have already been breached in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'

So, with the above plan in mind defenseless pieces of brass were once more reformed with hacksaw, file and lathe. No mercy was shown as I persued my quest.....

 Behold - I lay before you my weekend labours..............you must agree that was time well spent.
Fill mi flagon wi ya finest ale ya saucy wench, I have much celebrating to do !
Stay tuned, I ain't finished yet !