'The Timberlake MZ'

Albert here -
Doesn't matter from what angle you cast your eye she pleases !
And ! she's staying at my place and I'm free to do whatever it takes to get her firing on the button.

But, It's difficult communication with Germans. Mostly !

But we do know her name is Heidi.

No amount of rocking to and fro, jumping on the starting device, beating with a big stick seemed to have an effect.

Sulky Heidi ! Naughty Heidi !

That can mean only one thing........ A FULL STRIP !
Undo a few fasteners (Hey Heidi are you sure this is the first time they've been undone ?) and prepare for a full examination.

Safely in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' away from the view of the neighbours business can commence.

What is Heidi hiding ?

Stay tuned dear reader, for I, Albert Crackleport am preparing to risk life and limb to further the interest of Anglo/Deutch relations.

Es won't be lange bevor sie rauchen wieder meine Liebe Heidi !

The Tale of - 'The Timberlake MZ'

Albert here - Back in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' - A small part of the universe but a very very important one...........You remember ?
'The Old Sidevalve Bar' - A magical place.............A place where 'Reet Grand Onions' give themselves freely unto the underground Pickling Vats, once bathed in the secret elixir they're forever a Picklington..................Fit and ready to grace a Jacobs Cracker along with a goodly wedge of Wensleydale !
'The Old Sidevalve Bar' -A magical place................A place where old beer tankards never run dry..........................A none stop brewing fountain pumps ale from deep below the earths crust for the 'Invited' to enjoy.....
'The Old Sidevalve Bar' - A magical place................Where old motorcycle engines.......Cast aside by their owners are given the kiss of life...................scrubbed up, fed with fresh oil and secretly placed back into society to faithfully serve their master once more.......................

I, Albert Crackleport am once more venturing into the unknown..........................for I have had the call from a good friend of mine that I can not ignore.......................
A man who is faithful to his cause..................A man almost lost to Ducatiitus..........saved in the nick of time from that dreadful disease by a small but perfectly formed East German. How they rode together ! As one ! Enjoying each others company for many years..............But, the little East German became ill..........she could hardly move and was confined to home.................
How my friend pinned for her to be spritely again...........................to once more experience the joy of riding hard under the hot summer sun..................
A sad tale that needs a happy ending..........................
My Lord of Timberlake I can not allow your days to be sorrowful, I shall transport your much loved East German to 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' where the magic will enter her soul and new life will spring........

Stay tuned - for the next exciting instalment.
Cider time......see ya all later. Alb

Chemistry Graduate ? Doh !

Well, it's been some time since my last jottings on 'Vintafaker' so I'm here now to bring you up to date with some of the happenings down at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'. (T.O.S.V.B.)

Firstly I'd better explain to all who follow the blog... 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' ?......well it's a tiny workshop in Albert's back garden where 'Cracklenstein' creations are born. Unlike the not so famous Frankenstein what comes out of T.O.S.V.B. is all good and of immense benefit to mankind. (one week it could be huge pickled onions, the next homebrew cider, or possibly even motorcycles from scrap.... )

Anyway back to the tale........

I fancied experimenting with Nickel plating, and what better place to start than on a few pieces of 'The Picklington Precision'. It seemed easy enough.....battery, bulb, couple of bits of wire, anode and the part to plate. What could be simpler !

Well, let me tell you plating is a black art.....a secret than is kept by those in the know.....and they don't give away info to any silly old fool that fancies a quick dabble.......

The Nickel Salts I needed were purchased rather secretly, due to 'Health and Safety bollocks and the carriage by road of dangerous chemicals laws, I had to transfer money to a Chemical Co storeman who sneaked my requirements out of his place of work and posted them on the Q.T.

(What a fine fellow !)

I decided to use a Nickel plating recipe invented by a chap called Watts. Not of steam engine fame I don't think but quite a name in Nickelling. Who better than to help me mix the solution than No1 son 'Gear Gnashin Neil'... University Graduate in Science....I surely would be guaranteed sucess.

Suffice to say, there was no explosion, no huge cloud of poisionous gas, the first batch was mixed perfectly, the second batch ? aahh well...the solution didn't seem quite as clear and when poured into our storage vessel it was obvious why......the solution had eaten into the mixing pan....Oh Sh*t ! (Not advisable to mix Nickel Salts in aluminium pans dear readers.....)

The best stewpot ruined.....now I would have to confess to her who must be obeyed regarding this unauthorised use of the kitchen......sh*t and more sh*ts.....

Anyway, it's obvious that I lived to tell the tale and am now the proud owner of 5 litres of Watts Nickel Plating Solution.....

I'll keep you posted on how I get on, so stay tuned.................

Brassy

Hello again 'Vintafake' fans.....It's time I was giving a progress report...

Looking at the date of the last post you could say "About time Albert !". Well I can assure you I haven't been idle, out there in mi' shed, freezin' cold, all in the name of science....? Yes it's down at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' that unique motoring creations are born. Oh yes ! Read on to find out what your Uncle Albert did with a brass curtain pole...

The afore mentioned curtain pole had been squirrelled away many years ago by my father. (Known in Pembleton circles as Skid for the fact that he claimed to have travelled more miles sideways than I had travelled forward....Hum ! another likely story) I knew of the existance of this valuable brass curtain pole, it was rumoured to be laying within the underground vaults of the 'Crackleport' family abode in the treacle mining town of Pudsey.

The pole could be just the material I needed to create an Briggs and Stratton inlet manifold of eye catching beauty, a work of art to equal Antioch's Venus de Milo...

Once retrieved from its slumbers it was evident that the inner bore of the pole was exactly the correct size to marry the Amal carb and the cylinder head together. I cut a short length guesstimated to be of the optimum tuning dimension. Also found in the underground vaults was a piece of brass plate, from this was cut 2 mounting flanges to match carb and head.

The jointing medium would be Silver Solder. I ordered a quantity on line and whilst waiting for deilvery bolted all 3 components together to hold firmly whilst soldering. This tip was recommended by Lea Thermallet a follower of 'Oilyracer' blog (which runs alongside these jottings as a record for all time on this monumental build)

Ensure joints are clean, apply flux, heat until flux goes clear, apply silver solder, enough solder to run through joint, allow to cool. Hey ! It all seemed to work out great. Within a short time I had myself a basic manifold. Further polishing required to fully exploit the brass was done first with file, then emery cloth, then Brasso.

So...there you go......another piece of the jigsaw in place........(still plenty to do though !)

More Filing and Turning

So....having got the flywheel back from 'Govi Engineering' I set to with the angle grinder to remove the cooling fin stubs. Once ground flush with the main body of the flywheel I continued with a file, keeping the slight curvature to the outer edge. Then polishing with wet and dry.

It was at this point that my decision to keep the inner boss intact for refitment of the starting pulley obviously was a wrong one. Firstly I didn't need this option and secondly it certainly would look better without.

A trip back to 'Govi Engineering' for a second skim was the answer. Always happy to help 'Kev the Lathe' re-sculptured the centre, leaving a defining lip for esthetical interest. Now if that flywheel doesn't look like it came straight of a 1920's speedway Douglas I don't know what does !

It's not finished yet, more smoothing with wet and dry will be needed before plating but I'm sure you get the idea !

Well...time to lock up 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' fo't night and put t' kettle on.....

Thinwheel/Flywheel/Filingwheel

Ok 'Vintafake' fans....it's update time. Albert here reporting on news from a 'Snowy Old Sidevalve Bar'.

As I mentioned previously it was our intention to skim some of the weight from the 'Briggs and Stratton' flywheel....How much was anyones guess until done....(lets just say we would take it to the max). The flywheel was so large that there was no chance of it fitting in the Crackleport lathe, No !...... this needed a Big Mr Lathe. Just so happens ya Uncle Albert knows the where-abouts of such a piece of kit. Not a million miles away....in fact just in the next valley tucked away amongst the old derelict mills of a market town that in years gone by was the world leader in Tops, Noils, Shoddy and Mungo. Nestled in amongst this ever increasing industrial wasteland lies a small engineering shop. Govi Engineering, known only to a select few, a beacon for British Excellence. .....engineers wi' oil down their fingernails.....with the skill to make anything / anytime.

The route to this Turning, Milling and Welding oasis takes me past the old treacle mines . Being born and bred in the treacle mining town of Pudsey instils on me the knowledge of their location. (It's a secret I must keep.....so no good asking...) Suffice to say there is still a world demand for 'Yorkshire Treacle' and the underground seams are still workable, long may it continue.....

Hey Albert...enough of your ramblings , Get on with the story.........!

Yes readers....So....I'm greeted by 'Kev the Lathe'. A metal magician ! Capable of turning steel bar to gold ! Well not actually gold...but.....unique pieces of metal art !

And that's exactly what happened to the 'Briggs and Stratton' flywheel. Once an overweight bloater....now a sexy shapely beauty......Once weighing in at 7.7 kilo....now a curvy 5.4 kilo !

It wasn't quite possible to skim the full surface due to the afore mentioned need to keep the magneto mount in tact, so final finishing with a grinder and file is required.

Reet Grand !

Albert here - Ya know I can't believe it's nearly a month since my last update. Shame on mi'self !

Eeeh what wi' jotting on the shared blog 'oilyracer' and keeping the peace on't homefront wi' a spot of D.I.Y. !!!!! Enough excuses Albert ! Let's catch up on what's 'appened down at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'.

Well, the painting of the 'Briggs and Stratton' is now done. Reet Grand it looks too...

So grand in fact it forced me into making some new fittings. First off was a revised breather, forget the recycling into the inlet manifold bollocks...nah....this point's the old greenhouse gases straight t' ground. Made from a bit of 15mm copper pipe that I just happened to have after the D.I.Y. session and a brass electric box fitting, it cost nowt. Second off was mi' dummy oil pipe. Once again made from 2 scrap airline fittings and a length of 8mm copper tubing (left over this time from the Pembleton build many moons ago) Proper bling !

Last but not least...and what a find.....Yes...there was I doing mi' D.I.Y on the new kitchen, and pulling out the old boiler. (Old boiler ? nah..not the missus ! the redundant central heating one !)

There attached to the back were the most gorgeous huge brass fittings......and.....joy.......looking like the same thread as the exhaust port on the 'Briggs and Stratton'....

I wasted no time getting 'um off and giving 'um a polish ! Lucky ? Yep ! The best looking one is now in position and ready for an exhaust pipe, but not any old exhaust pipe...NO ! and trice NO !

An exhaust pipe.....of such magnificence and exuberance that has not been seen before !

Thats all for now folks !