The BSA B31 that time forgot. Part 8

Greetings bloggies.....You have arrived !    
The Vintafaker blogspot - hotter than OK magazine...
(and of course far more educational.......just less boooooooby)
In fact I shall have that as my motto.....Albert Crackleport the Vintafaker with less booby
Forget it......that was silly...

Here's where we were..The big dipping tank is full of plating juice, the monster zinc anode has been soaking overnight, the Nokia cellphone charger is ready to accept 240 volts and convert that to mind blowing trickle of 9 volts /0.00005m/A.....Must remember to connect Positive to zinc - Negative to workpiece.
The moment has arrived......the fuel holding vessel of Lovely Maroon has been prepared and had a final brisk wire-wheeling on the area to be plated.

 
Somethings happenin'.......bubbling and stuff......Hey this could just work !!!!!!

2 hours later the wait is over......will the fuel holding vessel removed, washed and buffed we can inspect for damage...

Nope! No damage Chief.....

No bling on this plating.........
No boobies either......
Just a bit of Old Skool Codswallop. And there ain't no harm in that.

Blimey, the jugglington hour is upon us already....POSH ! Hurry up wi them there flagons....

Stay tuned bloggies.
Between us we can beat the Matrix......

The BSA B31 that time forgot. Part 7

The fuel vessel 'restoration' is gathering pace.......in fact it's going that blooooming fast I'm just about managing to cling on wi mi fingertips.........Tight Grip Albert - that's me and well know for it !
So, part 7.....read on and be amazed...
Here's where the need for functioning memory recall will help because I'm gonna quickly flash back in time......and then forward again........(because I can) Don't get stuck halfway in the past my friend............may be best to hold on to someone who hasn't been smoking G4 Q. R. Codes if you're unsure.

Here we gooooooooooo - in reverse .......Hands up all those that remember the 2 gallon bucket of vinegar ?
Ok, time up !!!!!!!!!!!
Here we goooooooooooooooo again - fast forward........too late if you didn't remember because the story continues anyway... fragmented ?..................uncoherent ?.........can't piece together the jigsaw of life's actions ? ....all jumbled up ?.........Tip - seek medical advice on having your mobile phone amputated from your lug hole

Here's why your Uncle Albert needed many gallons of vinegar.
Gone and got myself a huge dipping bath !.........Gonna zinc plate Lovely Maroons fuel holding vessel.

How do you like my King Sized Anode ? She's a beaut ! Proper Yellow City Zinc ! Proper stuff !
Got it specially shipped to Yorkshireshireshire from a 'specialist' in Belgium.

Stay tuned......this is only the start !
Now, it's well past drinkies time..........

Where is everyone ?

Who's doing flagon filling tonight ?

Ya just can't get the staff !!!! 

The BSA B31 that time forgot. Part 6

Part 6.....Blimey we're clocking 'um up that's for sure.
The Old Skool stuff continues with your host for tonight.....Once again - Albertu-Keanu
After much burning of propane and much sweating of solder the fuel holding vessel of Lovely Maroon seems to be responding to treatment.

Now, whether I have managed to plug all the holes is still a question that remains unanswered.
Micro-pricklets are a Vintafakers worst nightmare - and undetectable by the Albertonic magnifying process.
A leap of faith is called for here......Let's assume that the repair has been successful.......

The Albertonic Magnifier - A legendary instrument used mainly for focusing the suns rays into a powerful point. Thus enabling small boys to set fire to fields and woods without the aid of matches....
But useful when viewing small things that you wish were bigger.

Anyways, don't think there are any small pricklets left in The Old Sidevalve Bar so that's reason enough to celebrate with a large jugglington of falling down juice...............POSH ! Fill 'um up !

The BSA B31 that time forgot. Part 5

Greets all you Vintafaking-Cool-Cats.    Albertu-Keanu here, just dropping by to update all you dudes on the latest cut and thrust of the inner sanctum (formally known as 'The Old Sidevalve Bar')
I know I left questions unanswered from the previous posting. 
What can possibly be done to salvage the fuel holding vessel of lovely Maroon? I heard you cry....
Fear Not ! For I have solder.....bottled gas.........a match......and of course ever willing Big Bertha.
Yep ! This is Old Skool stuff, non of ya 2 part epoxy putty with carbon fibre matrix molecules here.
Layer upon layer of solder was sweated onto the badly corroded areas.....

 Followed by smoothing with emery cloth and more sweating....more smoothing......more sweating

Did I tell you I had decided previous to starting the repair that I quite liked the deep corrosion effect from years of neglect.? (Maybe slight memory lost due to tin inhalation from the solder if I didn't)
Lovely Maroon should wear the scars with pride. I shall only repair the areas that resemble a watering can.

Hey, Posh...pour me a beer....all that Sn₃₃Pb₄₀Zn₂₈ dust on mi clacker has given mi a reet thirst....
It's five o'clock somewhere so its -FLAGON TIME !

The BSA B31 that time forgot. Part 4

Deep down in the Matrix the battle continues....
Can Albert Keanu Crackleport reverse up the digital highway ? Undo the megapixelness of the life in 2013 ?
Does anyone care......(Besides Joanna and me ?)
Make yourself known.......Stand up against the Tablet-takeover........
If you can't be bothered then maybe waste another few minutes sat on your butt and read on....

Poor Maroon ! My lovely B31 has been neglected and suffered abuse........Time can't be unwound but the future can be changed.....Vintafakers hold the life balance....
Life or Death........Polish or cut with 5" grinding disc..... I can decide.
I vow to change the fortunes of 'Maroon' for the better......
A stiff wire wheeling will bring a bit of life back to parts long forgotten......But can fully functioning be resumed after a bit of rough attention ?....We will see.
The fuel tank was treated to the Fully Monty....Wire wheeled from multi-angle approach....Oooooch....
Rust was history..unfortunately so was a goodly thickness of the ancient fuel vessels surface.....

Holy-Moly-Balloooly  ! More Holy than the Turin Shroud !.....
Have no fear, Albert is here.
I've seen bigger holes in my socks !
Whilst the wire wheeling was sending Iron oxide (Fe2O3) into the far corners of The Old Sidevalve Bar' I spotted through the red cloud a piece of history.........Stamped on the tank was the manufacture date.
Phew - 1956.......Awesome.....

Now here's where the Vintafaker blogspot turns into another history lesson.....
(and possibly once again a look into a parallel universe with actions and consequences so similar to ours you can't deny the existence...).
You see, as I penned this missive I wonder what happened in 1956. Not only the year of the B31 fuel tank manufacture but -
The year a Video Recorder was first demonstrated by Ampex.

and the year the first transatlantic telephone cable TAT-1 goes into operation...Both methods of communication......
Both seeds that eventually resulted in creating THE MATRIX !!!!!!
1956...good year or bad year, you decide.

Blimey..POSH ! I need cider !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and plenty of it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fill mi flagons ! I'm going double barrel again tonight
.

The BSA B31 that time forgot. Part 3

Sometimes saving the planet has got to be postponed.....Yep ! A week or two of Uncle Albert doing his own fing ain't gonna make no difference to the big picture of humanity........
So, let's keep the mojo juicing and see what can be done with 'Lovely Maroons' fuel tank....
It was pretty bollock'sed before it came my way, Another 35 years without paint doesn't seem to have added to the distress.

Treatment with a whirley wire wheel will expose the extent of the task ahead...........but I think a few tin worms have been nibbling while my back has been turned.


Oh, did I tell you it's been training day at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'
A new flagoneer has been undergoing test......Phuff.............chuffin useless......

Don't worry......it's only that German mouthwash Heineken stuff !

Posh! Get a tight grip, don,t want any drops of mine to be wasted !
and stay tuned for more on the saga of Lovely Maroon......it's gonna happen.....it's just a question of when.

Joanna and me !

I'm interrupting the theme...........it's a public broadcast of super-duppa importance......
Theme ??? Is there one..........Oh yes. It was mainly sickles of manly quality with a bit of eduction for class 4.

That's why you guys keep logging in......it's one small mouse click for man one giant mousey clickety-click for mankind.
We all have a duty to save the world......... 
What are you doing !!!!!!!!
Hand's up those dudes that have taken on board the need to rid the free world of mobile phones...????
My hand is up ! Best of all I have found another 'human' on my side...None other than the Avengers Secret Agent Purdey ! Boy oh boy.......it;s me and Purdey....Blighty MI5  undercover(s)

Tell you what - let's keep it like that....just the  two of us.....Honda TL125 all saddled and throttled up, ready to ride.

Anyways here's what the lady has just said that hit the news headline today....
This week Purdey continued her long-term bid to steer the young women of Britain onto the right track, as she sees it, by giving a speech at a £30,000-a-year girls school in Gloucestershire. She told the girls "Don't be a servant to your phone. If all you are doing is reacting to calls then you never develop. You need to have time to be free and for your heads to be free to think."
I rest my case.......

Hey ya saucy undercover chick, put ya Walther PPK 7.65mm back in the warming holster and pour me a flagon of ya special brew.................I want to be shaken not stirred...
(Lucky Walther!)
 

So, you've downloaded your Vintafaker app.........and activated it......like magic is this stuff...
More like Ali Bongos circus !!!!
BoNG ! and DoUBLE BoNGO ! Hold on to ya G4 thingywiggle because here's where the ride takes a trip on the wild side.......Nah, just joking........
Not only has your's truly Albert got to contend with living in the real world but I've got to venture into the Matrix and perform life saving magic tooooooo !  Phufff, Sometimes saving the World Order of Virago Badasses gets just a little bit too much for a Vintafake Superhero.
Anyways if you see either of these chaps on your travels don't trust them.....
One is the real Ali Bongo and one an imposter....

One is an actor and one has been a clown all his life................
The real magician is neither of these 2 jokers............Nay......
I'm the REAL MAGICIAN...Alberto Bongo Crackleporto will one again raise the bar and perform magic ....for one night only appearing live at the Lyceum Ballroom. I will attempt the impossibleness and resurrect from a 30 year slumber the B31 fuel tank.......Dah Dah Daaah !
(For those not familiar with this famous landmark, the Lyceum Ballroom was and still is a stones throw from the curry capital of the universe. Bradfordi-Gujarati)  In fact I'm sure my chum Basil K used to attend tea dances there when he was Lasterdyke Tango Champion 1967...

To aid me in my deathe deefying stunt I will need a 2 gallon bucket full of zinc plating solution.....
Haha you say,.......now that's why there is no vinegar in Yorkshireshireshire for chips.....Alberto Bongo has it all....(Of course you remember the accumulation of vinegar from a previous Vintafaker bloggy a few beers ago) See how the solution refelcts (what's up with this keyBOARD..It keeps speliling stuff wrong?)
Optical Vinegar ! Amazing......I of course are shielded from the glare thanks to my perefctly formed lightweight waist size....

Stay tuned......we shall start the miracle shortly....
Until then, all that talk of dancing has got my feet shuffling.......my hip pulsating......and my quiff all stiff..
Hey Posh ya saucy jive bunny...Let's rock n roll...

but be careful........all that twisting might knock mi beer over !

Free Gift with this issue

Greetings Vintafake Peeps ! A.C. here.....on line for your enjoyment and inner well-being. Yes, a clean and uncluttered mind gives space for the creative juices to boil......building steam to drive the thought pistons.....
Thoughts are free.............no tax to pay................go on let your brain think for a short time.....
While it's building some hot vapours let me tell you about the free gift I'm giving away...........Yes! more free stuff !
It's a Q.R. Code. Mmmmm nice......download it......print it..........scan it.........and then you can activate it at any and every opportunity..........at the bus stop, whilst someone is talking to you (because thats really cool and bad manners) or even sat on the 'throne'

Let's lift our flagons to modern technology. Hip Hip Hurray
The Vintafaker Q.R. Code is amongst us ! 
There's no going back now Posh !
So I'll have a double !!!!.