A back to front night - but with the same result

Greetings to all you blogchops who have re-tuned life into old fashioned values and vintafake quality.......
It's because you did that very deed you are reading this jotting.......Welcome back to the real world my friend. Albert C here..Tonight I thought I'd try a small but maybe significant experiment.....I am attempting for one night only only to write this blog post flagon.....Yes Posh has poured a few and I've managed to respond with a few skilful arm lifters before tip-tapping on the keyboard. I write this blog without the aid of a safety net...da da dah...

So, here's how your Uncle Albert see's the news tonight - Rejoice Vintabloggers
Let there be hosannas in the cloisters - may the choir boys cassocks forever keep their danglers from freezing and more importantly may the falling down cider foutain never run dry.

The reason for such festivities? I have taken delivery of 10kgs of Magnesium Sulfate Heptahydrate.
It's not for bathing mi feet in either ! Nah, this chemical of many magical properties is going to combine with the world biggest collection of acetic acid (which I am still accumulating) ..Ehhh I lad gonna make me some strange brew alreet.

Behold - The white crystals of Epsom - Ebay £6.  Bargain for sure.

Any guesses whats happening doon The Old Sidevalve Bar in the coming weeks ?
Ya gonna have to wait a bit longer if ya don't kno'

All this hocus pocus brew stuff has gone and got me all thirsty again......
Posh, be a love......pop an' git me another o' them ther' ciders.....

On a Cats......Whi.......

wwweeeeeeeeoooooooowwweeee         ooooooooooeeeeeewwwwwwzzzz

Albert...wwwweeeee....Cracklep.....wwwwooooo...ort..transmitting on low band anti G4 receiving channel.  Yep ! This is old skool stuff.
At the moment I'm under the bed clothes.........with my Ever Ready Space Beam Torch.....

and of course my Cats Whisker -.......Which of course is bringing this very message down the big copper cables under the street, up smaller wires buried in the walls of your house, and erupting like a fountain of knowledge before your very eyes.......I tell you...cast aside thee G4s...........and hash tag tablets......you know they are sinful......they will bring down humanity.............one day everyone will be sat on their big fat arses.........plugged in....and messaging..........but not communicating
Whatever !!!!!!    You heard it here first...........be warned......

 
It's been a funny old week in Vintafake land. -It's obvious too that despite efforts to achieve world domination for the Virago Brotherhood by both The Old Sidevalve bar flagon tippers and the Oilyracer fire bucket stockers the message is not getting through........Nay...not funny.........SAD !!!!!.
Many hours I have been rubbing my £5 ebay rim ! A yorkshireshireshire Aladdin..that's me !........My fingers stinging with the friction........my lungs burning with the toxic chrome dust that rises and falls like the ash cloud from Versuvius.........
Then....The job was done........I was ready for a spoke enquiry......
But - From the first 'well known' wheel rim vendor (down in Devon........)

 Unfortunately there is no way that rim is going to fit your hub. Each rim is dimpled and pierced so that the angle of the spokes will fit exactly to match hubs.

Each spoke when when placed in the hub should fit comfortably into the rim. If the hole in the rim is at the wrong angle the spoke is not going to reach it or go through it.

I hope this makes things a little clearer for you.

 

Holy Molly - More was to follow from another.........

 I would suggest that wheel building is not really something that you just have a go at and would in most cases it be left to the professionals as alot can go wrong.

But guys - Ya need to trust me......I'm Alberticus Wobblyrimicus.......What can possibly go wrong ????
Maybe they are right (for once) so new rim ordered to fit my requirement.....proper special it is...
In the meantime.....I'm tightening my whisker, stroking my crystal and hoping I can pick a bit of Caroline up.
(Radio Caroline that is)
Oy Posh ! Point the Space Beam over 'ere, I can't find mi flagon......

The National Collection - Vinta-vinegar

Hello everybody in Google Internetshireshire World....
Hopefully my G4 phone filter is on maximum and only Vintafaker fans using yesteryears technology can track progress in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' #......I'm not going to allow any Vintaknowhow to be tabletised.#..
Old Skool - #..........Old family values........Love and Peace man !
Ssshhh! Keep the chuffin noise down, can't hear fu*k all on this old P.Y.E. valve set...... ###
It's Sunday night....It's 8.00p.m.  It's the Vintafaker...Life from the Lyceum Ballroom, Blackpool

 #####.....Hang on ! Stray hash tags are filtering thro'..........Let me just turn my super hash tag bakerlite dial to receive only amplitude modulation...wwoooo...wwwoooooo...zzzzzbbbbb....zzzwwwooobbbbb.....
Ahh ! That's better.
Here is the Vintafake news....
Today, Albert Crackleport took delivery of the first shipment of vinegar. This is part of the National Vinegar Collection.....More will be following as transport from it's present location in Morrisons supermarket allows.

 'I' Albert Cracklevinicus intend to amass the largest volume ever before accummulated. National security is of the uttermost importance so I can't at this stage reveal any more about 'Operation Chip Condiment'.
Old Picklington preserving juice will also be recycled during the mission....

Store this vinegar safely Posh. Last thing we need now is some bloody idiot taking a drink of the stuff.
By the way ya buxum filly.....it's flagon time......Operation Treacle Porter has commenced.......
This is the Vintafake G4 phone free channel shutting down for the evening........
God save the Queen............