Weight Loss ?

Albert here, Greetings dear Vintafaker fans.......I'm holding on to mi flat cap 'cos by eck it aint half windy today........How windy ? It's that bloomin' windy it's whipping't cow pats up from't moors an spinning 'um down towards 'ar house like giant dustbin lids..................Dangerous ? By hell yes ! Wouldn't want one of then babies to hit mi' int mush.......
But the vintafakings gotta continue whatever't weather..........and whatever danger
So, I've been down in't Old Sidevalve Bar. Making a bit more goodness out of a bit of Yamaha sh*tness....
Now, ask me how gay handlebar risers are ? on a scale 1 to 10 ? .....10 big ones for sure......designed for hairy arsed bikers with limp wrists....................
And the weight ? Blimey Chief, they weigh mega tonnage.
2 x Virago risers and a woosey 'Live to Ride Eagle Spirit' bar clamp tipped the super accurate 'weightwatcher' scales at 846gms !

I ask ya ! Fire up the grinder.....Once more Albert needs to trim a little fat !
The gay risers are destined for Ebay. But the purchase of 2 x new lower handlebar clamps for £5 from the same shopping outlet was just what was needed. Perfect timing old chap. Yes ! 5 Squid for a pair.........In need of creative modification but nothin' ya' Uncle Alb can't sort.

Don't cry........the world is full of Eagle Spirit Clamps (unfortunately)......It's for the best....
Scotch-pad on the grinder gently ground away the blubber....and then the second soon followed......both revealing slender lovelyness......

Aluminium bushes turned on the lathe converted the XJ750 SECA lower clamps to VBobber specification. Now tipping the 'weightwatcher' scales at an impressive 348gms......

Weight loss - 500gms ! Lets celebrate the reduction with a raising of thy ale flagons, for we have taken a small step nearer.
Nearer to what ?..........Drink thee beer and don't ask so many questions........
Alb over and out......

A Quest Fulfilled

Vintafakers - Are you ready for action ? A new year and a new challenge - Why not join me in a mission to empty the worlds flagons .......not once....but twice.....! (pretty much the same as last years challenge except twice the quantity)
That's the easy bit.......read on my dear fellows for I have not been idle.....nay and trice nay.....for over the coming of the new year I have'ft journeyed to foreign lands.......O'wrt hills that protect us Yorkshireshireshire folk from the nampy pampy modern southern ways.........You will be proud of me I'm sure. cos I 'aLBERT CRACKLEport haf't been into the wilds of Worstershireshireshire.
A mission I had to fulfill for a hero forgotten......
What happened to Tommy Timberlake ? That was the question......A spiffing chap long forgotten by everyone but the countless pagen witches that claim to have born his child.........
I haveft been reading thy local parish recordums for clues...(thats probably why I haft started talking in thy holy tongue.......)
Thy scribbings record that he'eth was'th last seen riding his snarling V twin Anzani towards the summit of Clee hill............and the Welsh pig milking parlours beyond.
It was as I ventured towards this'th windswepeth wilderness I stumbledeth upon a small hamlet wher'th a crooked spire cast its'th dusk shadow........wher'th the aroma of Castrol R hung heavy in the air........
This was'th thee place, I felt it'th in'th my'th wellies.............A thorough search'th was'th in order.

I was'th uplifted, for I looked, and then I found, ....my quest was over...............
The spot where Tommy fell was beneath me......and in front of me was a fitting tribute.........

I present to you dear Vintafakers -
'THE TOMMY TIMBERLAKE MEMORIAL FOUNTAIN'

One small fountain for man - One giant moustache for mankind...