Big lumps.........

Alberto here ! Back a grindin' after last weekend when many flagons of Indian Pale Ale passed my lips....................a pleasant experience I may add...........but not conducive to creating flying machines for the comman man.............
So, I thought I better make ammends for my lack of metallic reduction by playing a 'Top Trumps' card and producing from up my sleeve a Grinder Ace .....
The Virago handlebar bracketry......What a montrosity.........an alloy lump of gigantic uglynessnessnessy......I can stands it na more Booboo.........
Attach cutting disc old chap..........lets get in there.............there's work to be done.
Handlebar clamps ? Nah, dustbin.....


The work was hard.............The more your Old Uncle Alberto grinded (ground?) the more his goggles steamed up.............the more his vision was reduced.................for the sweat it did pour from his brow.................and the mist it did blur his eyes....................

Holy Moly........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What have you done Alb?

Whoops......It brings back into my memory an old Blighty saying that was passed on to me by my hometown Candy Floss Maker...........(for he was wise, despite loosing a finger in the floss flicker)

Ya don't know difference between scratching ya arse and tearing big lumps oot !

He may be right..............My yolk is a bit see thro' ...................but I like it like that !

There's no going back now..........

Greetings Vintafaker fans - It is 'I' Albert Crackleport, Yorkshireman and innkeeper.......
Phew, this last weekend has been very, very 'heavy'.....................with flagon lifting.
I'm not complaining mind, for royalty has visited The Old Sidevalve Bar'
The smallest (but busiest) beer providing establishment in Blighty has had the pleasurement of 'S'erving..................with a capital S..................the one and only LORD TIMBERLAKE and equally famous Worcestershire Wild Man....
Quick tug of forelock.....for I was in the company of legends...............
(ask Heidi................!!!!!!!!!!!)
Indeed, such a momentous occasion could not go unmarked.
Vintafakers - I knew the time was right......What better timing.................
I proclaimed that for a brief period I would unveil 'The National Spring Collection'.
And so it was, that the lid was opened and the chosen ones saw the fullness of the coils. I must add that no women were allowed to glimpse the jewels, far too dangerous....... this was indeed a glorious male only moment that will be remembered forever by those who were lucky enough to witness..............

The hours passed and darkness decended upon The Old Sidevalve Bar, the beer pump was connected to a mashing of I.P.A. and much filling and draining of drinking vessels took place well into the night...................................
But the cool Yorkshire night air was too much for the Worcestershire men............
A fire bucket was brought before Lord Timberlake...............and lit with the aid of vast quantities of bar-b-que fluid..........
But..........the kindling was damp................much smoke but no fire.........
But...........His Lordship had a plan...............bring me a drill.................for I will ventilate the Crackleport Fire Bucket and bring much warmth to you all.........
And.............So it came to pass, that the Crackleport bucket is now a leaky bucket....................

Legendary......................but leaky.....................may it rest in peace.

I loved that bucket.............!