Balls in the air ? Oh, yes....plenty of them around these parts.
Whilst the dwellers in the man cave get used to the sight of a big black circly fing, your scribe Albert has hot footed back to 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'. Indeed the mojo juice is flowing and I don't want to waste a drop.
Oilyracer Krazy Koen had made a special trip over to Blighty to help consume some of the dangerous wobble inducing Rhubarb Cider.....so what better time than the present to heave the VBobber out of hybernation and into the open air for an all around eyeball and final fitting of the Headlampius Mantodea . Blimey what a weight, despite the trimming and drilling these Viragos are heavvvvvvvvvvvvvvy dude..........

 It's hard to believe that this faithful replica of a BSA Gold Star headlight was once an oil drum in Delhi ! How do those punjabi metal bashers do it for the money!......and more to the point why ?

Next job was to fit the 2 ramming bars that had been formed with precision and care during the long hard winter of 2012......The bars hopefully will stop any tendency for the headlight to turn into a searchlight at speed....in the dark........going into a corner.......on an unlit road...................eeeeeeeeeeekkkkk!

Now it's time to stoke up Big Bertha's fire.....Some like it HOT ! We do at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'. Any chance to get a head of steam up and we're in ! Flame on, flux and tin....all in one neat operation.

Headlampius Mantodea - In all it's glory. Now don't that just make ya real happy.????

Hey ! Posh....come and look at the view from where I'm sat..........and don't forget mi flagon..
I've got a reet thirst on wi all that soldering.

Till the next time vintachumblies- don't let the gypsies near ya phone apps, they'll weigh owt in for scrap.....!

Meanwhile down in the Man Cave.....

Oh...where was I ?
Aarrr yes....I was finking, in fact I was finking and finking more. Finking of how big a round thing needs to be to be useful.  Then I did a bit of doing. Wheels can't be rushed you know. To make a fine wheel takes time. So, whilst Racquel supplied the odd jugglington and the occasional apatosaurus leg to suck on I continued in my lonesome quest.
Well maybe not lonesome because there are 2 of us on the planet Earth dedicated to putting right the evil that has rained on us from Planet Virago...Yes, travelling time machines called Virago XV535s and Viragooo XV750's are contaminating the smaller brained homo sapians and making them believe they are butch babe magnets. Haha! How we laugh !!

Hey world look at my black ring - for this is mucho masculineeeee machineeee

Raquel - shut ya eyes love......this is a mans game.....

In fact get under the bear skins wi me, I'll protect ya from that naughty black ring.......Uuuggg Uggghhh !
Ya safe now.......

Vintafaker and Oilyracer - your Superheros against Evil Viragos

Greetings.........Vinta-shed-dwellers. It's me ! Your Uncle Alb tuned in and updating all you wonderful vintafake-internet-nutcases with a progress report.
Haha !!! I put some hyphens between the big words to help the lady readers with the complicated 'man-speak' (The term hyphen derives from ancient Greek ὑφ᾽ ἕν (hyph’ hén), contracted from ὑπό ἕν (hypó hén) "in one" (literally "under one")


So, there you have it ladies, more man knowledge gained, all for free too.
Anyways, I've been working on how this round thing we have started calling a wheel is going to look and more importantly how it will benefit mankind.
You know, us men have been struggling with round shaped things for millions of years.

But Jugglingtons holding refreshing fluids! Nah ! Got the hang of those trillions of yonks ago !
Raquel ! Bring me a couple of your finest Jugglings, I think this could be a long night..

Till the next time - Stay in the caves..you know it makes sense...

I like vinegar...........

It's got so many uses.......

In fact Raquel - think I'll have a splash in mi flagon tonight...........should get the old lips smackin'

Chippy Chumblies lobby M.P.

Greetings to all those who have tuned into tonights helping of Vintafaker. It could be worse...........you could be tuned into 'Britains Got Talent'. and what a total waste of chuffin' time that would be.........
Vintafaker blogspot is all about real life...........about.real guys with oily overalls...........  about real guys with dirty fingernails.... Yep....    Oily babe magnets who refuse to wear Tighty Whities for fear of restricting their creative juices..........

Anyway's,  tonight your oilyblogscribbler Albert Crackleport would like to inform his digital chums that the 'National Vinegar Collection' has reached record volume. Hurrah !  
In fact so huge is the collection now that the British Chip Chomping Society have lobbied their Euro M.P. in a bid to keep some vinegar stocks available for sprinkling on their fried spuds....and of course preserving the occassional pickled egg.
Bollocks ! I need this vinegar (and more besides)...........It's a tough world out there.....every chip for himself, that's what I say...

Hey, Raquel.....Fill mi flagon with a splash of ale, and feast ya eyes on the biggest in Blighty.........
Yabba Dabba...did ya say it was bearskin time again......Uuggg Uuugggggh....

Gonna build a wheel down in the 'man cave'....Uuggg!

Greetings to all those who have once again tuned into the official Vintafake transmission channel......(obviously by accident)
This is the crossroads of civilisation....but.which way to turn now? Left or Right ?

Right - and your life shall be enriched over the next couple of minutes, slowly building to a climax of digital freedom....throw off those G4 tablet shackles and then rejoice in the communication nakedness......
Left - and the silicone chip will rule your soul for ever in the # Hashtags # of # Hell #........
.
Oh good,  you're a right turner...glad you're still with us.....
So, having recovered from the overdose of Rhubarbcideritus and taken stock of progress down in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' I shall report as best I can remember......
Oooh aarrrr! The VBbobber. Despite warnings from the inner circle of  Wibble Wobble Wheel Truers not to handle spokes unless under armed guard I disregarded all advise...
Phufff ! Bah humbug.....Load of old tosh. Gonna build me a wheel - down in mi man cave and there ain't nobody gonna stop me.....

Parts ordered and package duly arrived contained a uniquely dimpled rim.....holes pointing at the correct angle-dangle to hopefully allow the spokes to slip through the holes in the BSA hub. Going together like Ramma lamma lamma Ka dinga da dinga dong.
Here's the spokey stick things that will connect the big outside circle to the smaller inner drum...

and heres the big round thing that has brought much pleasure to both my eyes.........just the shape of it......the dimpley holes .............the curves.......the sheer India manufactureness of it brings me out in goosebumps....

Delicious !

For all those Vintafakebloggers who may be wondering what I have on my mind here's an example of the type of thing I'm proposing to build...........

This should look pretty damn neat stuck out the front of the VBobber.....and just the job for squashing the odd hedgehog or two that gets in the way.

Now, best bit about this wheel inventing lark is ya get the pick of all the best flesh in the cave...Let's face it wheels weren't invented quickly for a reason..........
so, I'm gonna take this build a small step at a time.......don't want to be rushing now do I ?

Oy Raquel ya saucy troglodyte......splash a drop or two of ale in my flagon and throw another Pterodactylus on the fire......It's bearskin time. Uuggg  Uuugggggh.....

Until next time....stay twitter and app free.......You know it makes sense......

Albert's back in town

Vintabloggers............Wakey! Wakey!
It's me.Alberti Schwarzenegger.........back on the old Google Internetty....

Greetings to you all my faithful old digitised chums, Must tell you life ain't been easy over the last month.......
mainly due to the large volume of 2013 vintage Rhubarb cider that HAD to be consumed before the vintafaking could resume in the small but perfectly formed 'Old Sidevalve Bar'
I know, it was me who brewed it...and I should have known better, but it was by special request.
Now, the mission to reduce stocks of the afore mentioned liquid was undertaken by a band of brave shed stalwarts........willing to risk loosing control of limb and internal body function in the interest of......eerrrr ?.
well in fact, the interest was only to lift flagons of falling down juice......until the lifting arm disconnected......
the knees disconnected.................balance failed.........vision reduced to a blur......
Rhubarb Cider can magically do all these things............warning was given before flagons issued...........
Many heeded that warning.....................Only one boldly quoffed when all others stopped.........

 
There shall be no naming and shaming on this blog............
Enough said...........
Next episode - Let Vinafaking resume