The Empire ! The sacrifice....the linen bandages....and the holy scriptures of BSA wiring....

It is time ! The Crackleclock has struck the hour.............The bell tolls........BOING ! BOING ! BOING !
This is the moment.....Dah ! Dah ! Daaaah !
Bring forth the sacrificial Indian for it is written in the etchings of early shed dwellers that it is the duty of the pure and untouched to keep the old and knackered fully functioning for as long as possible.....

The specially selected Royal Enfield headlamp switch had arrived from it's motherland wrapped in swaddling. Once stripped naked and laid on the operating bench pre-op inspection could begin. Be warned - The surgical procedure is extremely complex, and of a micro-nanoscopic scale. Not to be undertaken by trainee Vintafakers or Polish sausage stuffers (no matter what experience they claim to have in handling small parts!!)
Luckily your Uncle Albert was well aware of the task that lay ahead. I would conduct the operation looking through the Hadron-Crackle-Collidor Magnificationiserscope.

At first glance the donor appeared to be of a similar breed to the Genuine Lucas (with optional large Knob)
Vital organs were prised away from the donor and transferred to the recipient. Progress was slow and methodical......The hours ticked by, day turned to night, days to weeks........(as you are well aware if you have been logging into the Vintafaker Blogcronical regularly) I 'Albert Crispy-Cracker would and could not give in...This was far too important a mission........I was help save 'Lovely Maroon'

One life donated - One life saved?
Hum ! Here's where the sacrifice to help Lucas (with the large knob) to once more light the road to freedom seems to have taken a sideways step....In fact maybe a small (teeny-weeny) step backways.

Houston, we have a problem....
The donor parts are not compatible....Over
Copy that Albert. You have a problem with your parts. Shall we send the Polish Sausage Stuffers? Over.

Assembled and ready for electrical current throughput testing it was evident that the switch had far more electrical terminals than Lovely Maroon could ever wish for. The holy scriptures of BSA wiring gave little clues, the ancient tongue of  'Haynes Manual' could not be deciphered either.
Only through the power of Google could the knowledge of BSA pilot, dip and main beam terminals be learnt

The Indian donation was in vain......hope where hope was not needed........ complication where simplicity was built in already.
Many thankies Mr Chawla for sending your best made Royal Enfield Headlamp Switch but it turned out Lovely Maroon is a dynamo model and doesn't need the extra springy thingies that your good friend Albert thought were lost. Nay, they were fit only to later alternator machines.....

Posh ! 

I need beer.....

and plenty of it!

Prognosis- It is evident that through analysis of variance ecological theories and hypotheses that Lucas replica switches are unusually complex because of natural variability in space and time. Additional multi replication throughout Asia over the last 60 years has changed the tolerance of build and thus there is no route back to 1950 for the present day Indian Royal Enfield Headlight Switch.....
Trapped in it's own time....forever 2013. Long may it remain so !!!!!!

The Empire ! The sacrifice....and the linen bandages..

This is the Vintafake World Service. A free to join information channel that transmits around planet earth, warning of the digital dangers of iphone complacency.....and other hidden transmitted irritations....
Surely satisfaction can be gained by methods other than a gadget with electronic vibrations and ringtones ?

Read on and I guarantee there will be an itching in your loins......a need to scratch away the old crusty bits of the past and let cool fresh air blow a sense of freedom around the glands of life.

The time is here. The hour is upon us. I will now cut into the encapsulation bag.........wish me luck.

Sights unseen since the volunteer headlight switch was embarmed in the Royal Enfield mummification department..
Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! Nooooooo!!!!

The bandages are off - The fresh virginal Indian donor at first glance appears a suitable candidate despite being of slender years and will be sacrificed honourably in 'The Temple of the Sidevalver' giving vital organs to Lucas 'The Prince of Darkness'.

Posh ! Our job is done for now. Fill my goblet with The Elixir of Life......for.that powerful potion of fermented apple juice will guarantee safe journey through the night........and ward off the evil snore monsters.....

Balls in the air ? Oh, yes....plenty of them around these parts.
Whilst the dwellers in the man cave get used to the sight of a big black circly fing, your scribe Albert has hot footed back to 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'. Indeed the mojo juice is flowing and I don't want to waste a drop.
Oilyracer Krazy Koen had made a special trip over to Blighty to help consume some of the dangerous wobble inducing Rhubarb Cider.....so what better time than the present to heave the VBobber out of hybernation and into the open air for an all around eyeball and final fitting of the Headlampius Mantodea . Blimey what a weight, despite the trimming and drilling these Viragos are heavvvvvvvvvvvvvvy dude..........

 It's hard to believe that this faithful replica of a BSA Gold Star headlight was once an oil drum in Delhi ! How do those punjabi metal bashers do it for the money!......and more to the point why ?

Next job was to fit the 2 ramming bars that had been formed with precision and care during the long hard winter of 2012......The bars hopefully will stop any tendency for the headlight to turn into a searchlight at speed....in the dark........going into a corner.......on an unlit road...................eeeeeeeeeeekkkkk!

Now it's time to stoke up Big Bertha's fire.....Some like it HOT ! We do at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'. Any chance to get a head of steam up and we're in ! Flame on, flux and tin....all in one neat operation.

Headlampius Mantodea - In all it's glory. Now don't that just make ya real happy.????

Hey ! Posh....come and look at the view from where I'm sat..........and don't forget mi flagon..
I've got a reet thirst on wi all that soldering.

Till the next time vintachumblies- don't let the gypsies near ya phone apps, they'll weigh owt in for scrap.....!