Throw the Switch Igor !

Greetings Vintabloggers, It is 'I' Albert Crackleport..........bringing news of the Fabulous VBobber Virago.
Yes, I have once more been creating life deep down in the hidden chambers of 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'.

Where forgotten and worn pieces of metal are skillfully resurrected to serve man again......
A last chance saloon for the outcasts of our G4phone and Tablet hungry society !!!!!!!
It is secret work, dangerous work, and high voltage work, some sceptics may say pointless work....
Ha ! One day my creation will live ! Until that day cometh be patient my friends and believe....

Saturday 8th December 2012. The sun shone and my mojo juices started running.......Hey, let's not be wasting mojo......let's vintafake
Turn on the compressed air making machine......and set up the Ikea toybox outside on the patio, complete with greenhouse window lid.
Gonna do me some blasting !!!!!

That steering stem doesn't look pretty.....let the mojo flow.......
Now, here's a ridiculous thing.......in the world of grit blast nozzles I think I've got a big 'un. Which is ok to brag about at Grit Blasting Conventions but a right pain in the ar** when working in a restrictive area.
Fill, blast, fill, blast, empty box, fill, blast, fill, blast, empty box......get the picture?
Ah, well, what is will have to be....A nozzle is for life not just for Christmas.
4 hours later -

Sweet !
Igor!...ready the nickel dipping tank......'I' Albert Cracklestein will now feed electrical pulses through this lifeless yamaha limb and try to recover it's soul......

The toxic vapours were rising from the hot chemical bath, now was the time to throw the switch -
100,000,000,000volts......... zezezezezezezbbbbbbbb     zezezezezezezezezezezezeezezeebbbbbbbbb !

                                           
It's alive ! I say IT'S ALIVE !! The chemistry, the electricity, the ancient wisdoms (no G4phone and tablet shit here) all coming together in a 2 gallon plastic bucket..........a steaming and bubbling coldron of nuclear fussion...................or maybe nuclear confussion......
Behold  .......and wonder at the richness of the nickel colour. The job is done. Happiness and wellbeing once again settle over 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'.  All is peaceful in Vintafake land.

Time for a flagon.

Beer Watch - Almost Live from 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' - Part 2

The mission is accomplished -
'The Old Sidevalve Bar  flagon lifters are all still alive -
The beer was tested -
The seal of approval has been granted -
'Basil's Little Beauties' Best Bitter is officially classed as drinkable.

Here's a couple of action shots during the decanting proceedings.
First the slow pour - Performed for 1 night only without a safety net -

Secondly the full inspection -A picture of true deliciousness

Cheers to the Bradford Hop ! May it continue to grow in it's secret location for many years..........


 

Beer Watch - Almost Live from 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'

Albert here- In a matter of hours the wait will be over - Today is the day....the hourth approach
As the big event is reaching it's climax I thought it only best that I clear all pickling personnel out of the danger zone. (For their own safety of course,) The Old Sidevalve Bar' flagon lifting stalwarts have had additional H & S training so will obviously be present.

but, unfortunately the resident Russian Shallot Skinners will have to leave the vaults until danger passes.
The trio, known in Syberia as -
 Полюсом Московского государственного танцы и лук кожи зачистки цыплят
 will be back soon though.......many Crunchy Picklingtons are needed for the New Year celebrations.

What's the big event ? Whoops nearly forgot.........In 2 hours a bottle of Basil's Little Beauties will be ceremoniously poured into appropriate vessels and consumed. All in the cause of science.....
Will keep you posted.......

Greetings 'Lord Timberlake'
Here's a get well message from Yorkshireshireshireshire.
Get thee' 'sen better reet sharpish old chap. There's homebrew to be drunk and we need ya help doing it.!!
In the meantime here's a couple of shots of a reet little beaut to get ya pecker pulsing !

Not forgetting all the best from Martina Halberstadt-Fokkerstrudle' the new 'Fire Bucket Stocker' down at The Old Sidevalve Bar' xxxxxx

Victory for the Common man.............and the T.A.F.F.s of 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'

Hear Yee ! Hear Yee ! Vintabloggo's. It is 'I' Alberto Cracklepants.
Today I bring good news to the long suffering citizens of Blighty.   
I can confirm that Justice and Equal rights for all Commonors of Yorkshireshireshire has taken one small step forward and nearer our quest for independancy. Yes, 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' will one day be a micronation where freedom of trade and the drinking of beer attract nil tax.
Thank's to the support from a small group of covert agents operating from within the pickling vaults under 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' we have taken on The Border Agency Weasels and WON !
It has been a long and arduous battle. .....Attack and counter attack............Thrust and parry.....
The turnip shovel our weapon, the 'V' sign our symbol of hope.....
(the shemagh and desert sunglasses.......? Answers on http://oilyracer.blogspot.co.uk/  We may not be alone !)

T.A.F.F.s - Thin Ankle Freedom Fighters. 

 "those Fuzzie Wuzzies they don't like the cold steel up 'em" !

Yesterday I received a missive from 'Border Force' They have reviewed my case for a refund and have reduced the duty payable on my 'Collectable Motorcycle Part' from 20% to 5%. Money to be sent to my Swiss bank account to escape further taxation.

 There you have it.....job done....I reckon that's been worth it. A long journey but a worthwhile one...I've ended up paying about £2 duty, and for that I've had letters from 3 goverment departments, and my claim has been to 4 goverment departments....keeping the buggers busy......someone has to !!!!!

 Hip Hip Hurray ! Hip Hip Hurray ! Hip Hip Hurray!

Bring me 2 x flagons Posh - Tis' time to celebrate

 

 

Life lessons

Greetings 'Vintabloggies'.
Tee Hee ! Vintabloggies! (Hey ! You won't find that in the English dictionary...Brand new tonight !)

So, what's new Albert ?
Well, thought maybe you dear readers would be interested not only in gorgeous lovely vinta-sickles but also in lubricants. Yes, lubricants of the tonsils and clacker ! Commonly known as BEER !
Just like a good sickle, beer lubrication has to be made in a shed not bought at the shop !
So....here's life lesson No1....
Follow me into 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' it's time the wisdom of the elders was passed on....

Amazing - Top Secret stuff - Hops from Yorkshireshireshire.....Small but perfectly formed....

 Add to beer and boil 1 hour to infuse....mmmmmmm

Filter through baking sieve, cool to 20degC. Add a dollop of yeast and stand back....

This is alcohol being made - even as you sleep !!!!
There's other bit's to this brewing lark but I've shown the action stuff........

Whilst the alcohol slowly builds inside the bucket to some super strength knock you down with a feather percentage level there's time to do some Vintafaking.....
I'm still perfecting my zinc plating techniques and it didn't take me long to decide wire-brushing rust bits is for wuzzies. What I needed was a macho blast cabinet.
Macho as in Hey dude, you have your own blasting equipment ? WOW
Own blasting equipment ? Yes, I have indeed, but once again it's small but perfectly formed.
Homebuilt too !

Here's how - 
Main cabinet - Ikea toybox.
Inspection screen/lid - Greenhouse window.
Gun and grit came free with the VBobber

Instructions for use -
Dangle in arms at open corners and cover gap with an old towel....The grit makes my hands tingle a bit.
(mental note - rubber gloves required)
(second mental note - must put window back in greenhouse before winter)
Equivalant spec at Machine Mart over £300 !!!!!!!

Time to fill my flagon and quoff a couple for the alcohol fairies are always busy in the shed and the tap never see's to run dry.........

Another shot across the bows.

Yes indeed, Albert here.
Thought I'd get the week off to an honourable start with another shot across the bows of Weasel H.Q. Better known to most citizens of this fair and just land as THE ROYAL MAIL.
My previous correspondance obviously fell amongst all the other undelivered letters never to see the light of day again deep down under Ye Olde Tower 'O' London.......
Slight slip up at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' on the previous attack (letter) is the fact that my proof of posting has been through a full wash cycle in my back pocket......unreadable.....and soggy......are words best describing this most important document......The Baroness has denied any responsibility...!!!????!!!....confessing only to removing any money in the pockets before turning the dial to 40degree.....economy cycle....
Nay Nay and Trice Nay......Fear not...'I' Albert Cracklepoticus have quickly attacked with a secondary missive.....

Tomorrow I will once more enter the House of Mail.......Approach the bullet proof glass......bend down and whisper through the slot at counter level.....
'Hey Pat take this message to ya Queen and dunna spare them horses"

Oh aarrr ! Flagon tyme!