Not C.A.D. Not C.N.C. Just Old Skool !

A.C. here. Yes me. Albert Crackleport a.k.a The Vintafaker......
(Who ?)
What's with all this abbreviation stuff  in the title ? Dunno ! It just happened......
Anyway, I'm here to report on the latest teeny weeny happening down at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'. At the moment what I am about to show you is lacking in visual delightfulness (although that will change as I continue to express my artistic desires on the small but unexpectedly firm piece of scrap metal......)
What ya on about old chap ?
Oh,... forgot to mention......today I shall start making a bracket to hold my lovely Delhi Speedo...
However before thee hands could caress metal I had to consolidate my vision onto an old cardboard takeaway wrapper. (Those in the know call it a template)........No electronic 3D C.A.D. software to help...no....just old fashioned pen and paper. Seemed to work....A  few scribble scibblingtons followed by a couple of snip snipperooos and before you know it I was on a roll.......the juices were flowing............ wooooooo wooooooo wooooooooooooooooo...feel the force......

Down my neural pathways came the message.........
"Use brass.....cut delightfully curvy......drill plenty speed holes.........mount prominently on VBobber"

So far I had managed not to use the C.A.D. because I dont own such a thing..........and I don't own a C.N.C either so I fired up my grinder, dropped my goggles and in a few pleasurable moments I had myself another amazing work of art.

A carressing rub or two around the extremities with an assortment of rasps and .................

 

what did I tell you !  Coming on a treat..........

Hang on ......I can hear 'Old Rosie' being splashed into my trusty flagon........I'm away.............

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Stay tuned though for more Vintafaking........You know it makes sense......

 

Half way around the world

Hey. Hey ! Big day today !
The postman has just delivered my latest Ebay purchase. All the way from Delhi.....(in India)
A exact copy 'Smiths' speedometer ! Less than 10 quid + 8 quid postage.....Ya can't get a curry delivered from up tha road for that sort of money....
I like it ! It's complete with all relevent import papers too.....Fully legal to be in Blighty.....
Still can't get over it.....a tenner ! ....Hand crafted by a 7 year old orphan........with no shoes...........living in a cardboard box.....................eating worms and cockroaches....................
The kids done good !....

It's done 2 miles already.......maybe it's been roadtested at speed on an Enfield Bullet.......
Time to raise a drinking vessel in a Delhi direction.....for my cha' has brewed and my Walla has poured it....

What...what....what.....

Hello, and welcome to another episode of  'The Vintafaker'.
Mr A. Crackleport here.
So, the quest continues,,,,,,,,,the scrap metal store is once again raided......and best of all the VBobber takes another teeny weeny step further forward towards immortality.....
Saturday morning 8.30a.m. and it all kicks off down 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' . I had the urge. I couldn't resist any longer....
An urge of megasonic proportions......to once again cut and roll, fold and hammer small offcuts of copper hot water tank into delightfully useful motorcycle parts....
I'm sure you all would have felt the same in my position !
And then best of all I would once again fire up Big Bertha, the residential blowtorch (with interchangeable burners) and solder the shrouds that I made last week
Man.!.....I like fire !

Theres nothing more pleasurable than running molten solder up red hot cavities.....and the sensuous smell of boiling  flux as it steams up ones nostrils.......mmmmmmmmm wonderful

Using the same techniques discussed last blog I made 2 x top section shroulds...........with taper !
Phew !
Here's a shot of what to expect, they still need trimming to size...

The shrouds are going to need something to keep them centralised on the fork legs.....

Now and again sacrifices have to be made........it was time to let go........the need was great...........
I needed some sort of easily solderable metal to make the internal supports.
What about cutting a couple of pieces off this old Cuban Peso printing plate I just happen to have ?.....it's for a good cause ! My printing days are done anyway......I have all the Peso's I need.....

In no time at all I had turned the copper into shrould inserts.

A flagon has my name on it so must dash..........
Stay tuned for more Vintafaking.
Albert over and out...

Mojo

It's me...........Albert.
I'm back.......... and I'm full of mojo..............
Don't want to be wasting it ! So quickly old chap...........get thee 'sen doon to tha' Old Sidevalve' and let those juices flow.....
Right from the outset I wanted to use 'old skool metals' on my unviragoed sickle where ever possible. Metals that were used with great abundance when Old Blighty lead the world in engineering greatness.........the Vintafaked VBobber would be a link back in time to when work meant physical effort and young children swept chimneys....

To say I'd searched in every orrifice of Yorkshireshireshire would be an understatement......My quest was to find some copper or brass tubing with an internal diameter large enough to make some front fork shrouds....
No luck. Once again I set out to make what was needed.
Now, it just so happens that I did have an old copper hot water tank hidden from the view of the thieving toe rags that seem to continually patrol our streets looking to steal valuable scrap when ya not looking.......

10 minutes with a power saw and I had copper a plenty.

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Filed square I set about forming a 10mm flange. In fact I would be making 2 x 10mm flanges that would interlock and be soldered in stage 2.
These were created by clamping the copper between 2 MDF formers before folding to 90deg at the required width. (10mm)

Finishing the flange forming by wrapping around a steel ruler.

The second flange was created in much the same way.......

 Carefully working into shape with old bits of wood rather than mighty hammer blows.

A bit of tubularness shape was created next........rolling gently around another peice of old scrap ! Now that's a good use for an old Virago swingarm, I knew it would come in handy !

Coming along nicely old chap !

Stage 1 done. Time for a celebratory flagon........Oh, I've a bottle of Jeremiah Weeds Sour Mash to try..... must dash...............
Albert signing off......till next time.

Weight Loss ?

Albert here, Greetings dear Vintafaker fans.......I'm holding on to mi flat cap 'cos by eck it aint half windy today........How windy ? It's that bloomin' windy it's whipping't cow pats up from't moors an spinning 'um down towards 'ar house like giant dustbin lids..................Dangerous ? By hell yes ! Wouldn't want one of then babies to hit mi' int mush.......
But the vintafakings gotta continue whatever't weather..........and whatever danger
So, I've been down in't Old Sidevalve Bar. Making a bit more goodness out of a bit of Yamaha sh*tness....
Now, ask me how gay handlebar risers are ? on a scale 1 to 10 ? .....10 big ones for sure......designed for hairy arsed bikers with limp wrists....................
And the weight ? Blimey Chief, they weigh mega tonnage.
2 x Virago risers and a woosey 'Live to Ride Eagle Spirit' bar clamp tipped the super accurate 'weightwatcher' scales at 846gms !

I ask ya ! Fire up the grinder.....Once more Albert needs to trim a little fat !
The gay risers are destined for Ebay. But the purchase of 2 x new lower handlebar clamps for £5 from the same shopping outlet was just what was needed. Perfect timing old chap. Yes ! 5 Squid for a pair.........In need of creative modification but nothin' ya' Uncle Alb can't sort.

Don't cry........the world is full of Eagle Spirit Clamps (unfortunately)......It's for the best....
Scotch-pad on the grinder gently ground away the blubber....and then the second soon followed......both revealing slender lovelyness......

Aluminium bushes turned on the lathe converted the XJ750 SECA lower clamps to VBobber specification. Now tipping the 'weightwatcher' scales at an impressive 348gms......

Weight loss - 500gms ! Lets celebrate the reduction with a raising of thy ale flagons, for we have taken a small step nearer.
Nearer to what ?..........Drink thee beer and don't ask so many questions........
Alb over and out......

A Quest Fulfilled

Vintafakers - Are you ready for action ? A new year and a new challenge - Why not join me in a mission to empty the worlds flagons .......not once....but twice.....! (pretty much the same as last years challenge except twice the quantity)
That's the easy bit.......read on my dear fellows for I have not been idle.....nay and trice nay.....for over the coming of the new year I have'ft journeyed to foreign lands.......O'wrt hills that protect us Yorkshireshireshire folk from the nampy pampy modern southern ways.........You will be proud of me I'm sure. cos I 'aLBERT CRACKLEport haf't been into the wilds of Worstershireshireshire.
A mission I had to fulfill for a hero forgotten......
What happened to Tommy Timberlake ? That was the question......A spiffing chap long forgotten by everyone but the countless pagen witches that claim to have born his child.........
I haveft been reading thy local parish recordums for clues...(thats probably why I haft started talking in thy holy tongue.......)
Thy scribbings record that he'eth was'th last seen riding his snarling V twin Anzani towards the summit of Clee hill............and the Welsh pig milking parlours beyond.
It was as I ventured towards this'th windswepeth wilderness I stumbledeth upon a small hamlet wher'th a crooked spire cast its'th dusk shadow........wher'th the aroma of Castrol R hung heavy in the air........
This was'th thee place, I felt it'th in'th my'th wellies.............A thorough search'th was'th in order.

I was'th uplifted, for I looked, and then I found, ....my quest was over...............
The spot where Tommy fell was beneath me......and in front of me was a fitting tribute.........

I present to you dear Vintafakers -
'THE TOMMY TIMBERLAKE MEMORIAL FOUNTAIN'

One small fountain for man - One giant moustache for mankind...

Albert Crackleport reporting on life down at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'..........Known to many as the last watering post before the frozen north............known to a select few as the place a Yorkshire fire bucket fought magnificently against the Wild men of Worcestershire.......
Fear not, all is not lost, the vibes from the fallen bucket inspire all who stand on this hallowed ground ........... the struggle was not in vain.

'I feel the power !' Running up my riggers......through my boiler suit.....and into my woolly hat...!

Goggles down, 5" disc fitted, fire up the grinder there is work to be done....

Like thunderbolts fired from the fingertips of Zeus the spinning grinding disc destroys the evil and leaves the good........... There was much evil around the Virago diff, a flange so embracing only the chosen one would dare cut into it for fear of releasing Pandoras secrets...

Get a grip ! Your Uncle Albert knows that inside the all enveloping mass will be a diff of much slenderness, a jewel to please the eye waiting to be released.

Little did 'I' Albertchippbuttius know how long this would take.....Like Michelangelo when he paper and painted the sistine chapel this would be a labour of love.......and a demonstration of the Vintafakers art.
Months have rolled almost into years........spring has turned to summer and then autumn and winter........the hops have flowered and the young shoots of barley have grown and been harvested and malted, I have fermented and drunk the elikior........yet the Virago diff still was needed attention..
Grinding, Sawing, Filing, Dremeling, Emery clothing.......this metal mass was gradually shrinking. (I knew this for it was getting increasing difficult to wade through the metal shavings) But I could not leave my post, not when I thought glory was soon becoming.

My body cried enough.....but my mind overcame the pain.......for I was fuelled by the food of the gods.
Serving wenches brought Guiseley Growlers to my workbench at regular intervals...... (for these meaty beauties are known to have medicinal compounds)...........it was a life or death situation.......could the warm gelatine revive my dry clacker.....and replenish my shrinking waistline ?

Yes ! Is the answer for I am here aint I ? Still of sound mind ?

Almost there,

Vuala ! I bring before your royal worthynesses the fruits of my labours....... Before and after......... Fat or Thin ? Sack of Spuds or Belle of the Ball?
You decide, it's time for a much deserved Porter.
Albert over and out.