Their defences appear to be weakening !

Today I have received a brown envelope
Inside a Goverment notice
Clearly marked from -
The National Duty Repayment Centre. 
Excise, Customs, Stamps & Money.

Below is the very document.......

Clearly the amount I am claiming back is above the remit of 'V.A.T Dover'  and needs higher authority
My manifesto has been forwarded to LONDON ! Capital of Blighty !
Maybe for royal approval by Her Gracious Highness & Majestyness herself -

Let's raise a flagon to the Queen in anticipation-
'Bottoms up Milady' 

I await developments

Vintafaking or just Bullsh** ?

Waiting for the Big Cheese at the 'V.A.T. Bunker' in Dover to respond to my manifesto has started to create tension.. ........
I guess that's the job of a government department.......
try pi*s everyone off at all times......doesn't matter one bit if they pay their taxes.......and some..........(I'm cool though, it's a waiting game.....trying to wear me out......a war of attrition)

Even the cobwebs in The Old Sidevalve Bar' are wound up as tight as catapults........should a silk strand ping then a big hairy Yorkshireshireshire spider could be launched into orbit .......I know, not a place to be with such danger. But, Albert has to vintafake, life carries on.......

A quick rummage in my secret stock found just the thing.  
8mm central heating pipe and an assortment of compression fittings......

Look like real old J.A.P. oil lines to me.....?
No ? Well they will do soon....

Step one - Drill holes in appropriate places...and mount brass unions to 'VBobber Super Lube System'
Step two - With the skill of a Master Craftsman pass the copper pipe between the obstacles, frequently annealing to maintain some flexibility...and shaping artistically with finger and thumb.....
Step three - Solder pipe to brass connections.

Not finished yet, but I thought you'd like to see progress.....So, now you know.
Fill my flagon with dark ale wench...
let's celebrate, for no spider has been launched today.....

Weasel War Update

Just a quicky tonight -
Forgot to tell you all peeps.....I posted the manifesto again.........This time to V.A.T Dover H.Q.
Blimey......here's the spooky thing......That's where Churchill had his war bunker, and that's where my Churchill salute is pointing.......Da....Da......Ddaaaaaaaaa !
Ok so my 'V' for V.A.T. Victory is looking a little bit weathered but the fingers are still erect (despite the cobwebs)

May good triumph over the greedy............
May my manifesto bring prosperity to the needy...
May the flagons of 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' never run dry.....
Forever Picklington ! I hear ye cry !

Phuffffff !

Brown envelope opened.......!
W.T.F. ?
Polite letter from a govermental Weasel !
Hey, lets keep the details thin and to the point...............
(looks like a womens writing...)

More research needed Albert old chap..............don't imagine for one moment that the address of the correct Weasel H.Q. could possibly be disclosed........

I shall purchase another stamp of the realm and attack again......
in the meantime - a flagon of lubricating apple juice will help to calm me dowm......

Back to the headlamp.....

Whilst Postman Pat does his stuff and delivers my very important manifesto to Blighty V.A.T. H.Q. I can do no more than wait..................wait...............and wait some more.
It could be the wait of waits....?
Life's too short to wait...let's Vintafake !

Thankfully the sky hooks holding the headlight were still connected and that gave me a chance to do a bit of measuring.....
Amazing !!!!! The fork centres when measured in Old Blighty inches have 7 1/2" centres. Even though they were created up the Shimanto River at the Viragoshizicota factory where measurement is generally by bamboometer to the nearest 尺貫法 shakkanhō

they match the BSA headlight centres exactly....

I want the mounting brackets to give the illusion that the headlight is suspended in mid-air from the side.....which dictates that the strength of the bracket will have to be in the horizontal plane rather than the vertical.....crikey that's pretty techi Alb...

Patterns were cut from a never ending supply of old Pizza boxes that regularly appear in my dustbin thanks to a character I know thats goes under the name of 'Bad Barty'.  (He knows who he is...a man of mystery and peperami toppings)
I like the 'Recycle me' message printed on the side cause that's exactly what I'm doing......turning scrap back into useful objects.....

Here's pizza box off-cut meeting BSA headlight for the first time......

That's enough creativity for tonight. Time for bed.

Albert over and out....

Big excitement - all for the price of a stamp

Today is a Big Day.
I feel sure many will look back on the 30th August 2012 and say - Albert (bless him) changed civilization as we know it.
I have worked tirelessly on my manifesto. Well to be honest, I did it between flagons and batches of flatchulence...~~
Hey - here's an interesting fact ~ Passing flatus, is an ordinary everyday event for most people. Normally, an average person passes approximately 400 to 2,000 milliliters of oxygen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen and methane gases every day without being noticed.
Well I bet there's plenty of flatchulence in the VAT refund office when my manifesto plops on the doormat.
Here it is ~

 

So, flatufart all you like V.A.T. Weasels - Albert is waiting for his money back !

Time for a flagon of falling down cider and a small flatchuwiffy to celebrate.

Phhhuuuuu !

Fully equiped

Albert tuning in.......is anyone there...........?????
No worries.....I'm used to talking to myself...
I've just returned from my holidays.........no beach for me.....oh no... spent the whole week  endulging in life enriching refreshments......(vital for the over 50s)  mmmmmmmm wonderful Belgium Beers !
My Mojo is now at super level............I'm near ready to explode............LOOK OUT ! I could pop my cork at any time....
Good job I'm ready for the next step because it's grade 2 level shed-engineering coming up now on the VBobber fabrication.  Amazingly I have the necessary tool. To be honest I don't know where this precious artifact came from but today is the day I'm gonna use it.

Hand's up those that have heard of  'Sky Hooks'... bet you've never seen one...
Da Da Daaaaa !

Here's one....holding the VBobber headlight shell firmly in place while I measure to the millimeter the bracket requirements
 

 Side view.....See how the design allows full adjustment once firmly clamped to a passing cloud.
 Bloody marvellous things if you as me....

So, that's enough secret technology shared tonight.
It's now time for bed my little Vintafakers.....sleep tight......
Albert over and out...