Time Off

It's me ! Albert.....

Today I've been mostly boiling ! Yep, It happens once a year and the 'window of opportunity' is so small that it's all hands to the pumps..........producing a rare brew indeed. In fact so rare nobody, and I mean nobody knows the recipe but me. Yes indeed ! Albert is the only one.

Recipe ? Oh yes, scribbed on a stone slab millennia ago, a life giving elixir so powerful that even I, stalwart of the 'Fallin Down Cider' have been known to stumble after only wetting my lips with the liquor..........

I'm talking about 'RHUBARB CIDER'........................feared by many, tasted by few.

Well anyway, thats whats been buzzin down 'the Old Sidevalve Bar' today. Slightly different to previous brews 'cause I'm brewing on the 'fruit', rather than filtering the rhubarb juice into the fermenter.

Why oh brew master ?

Well I want this years brew to have a rough edge, scrumpy like texture.....just imagine all those stringy things from the rhubarb skin getting stuck in ya teeth as ya wash down a jug or 2 before the lights go out.........literally.

Oh yes................Rhubarb Cider 'with bits'. Luxury !

Listen guys, don't worry about Britt, Ingridd, Anni-Frid, Ingerborg and of course Brunhilde, I'll be updating them with news on Heidi soon. They'll wait ! (They'll have to ! I'm mid-way thru boiling mi rhubub !)

Alb over and out......................

M.Z. People...?

Amazin' -

Yep! as I contemplate the next move on Heidi in a cold damp 'Old Sidevalve Bar' across the miles in Scandanavia the 'Liberated Stockholm M.Z. Lady Riders Club' have been in touch via email.

As well as wishing Heidi a speedy recovery from the complex removal and replacement of vital components 'L.S.L.R.C. stalwarts Britt Eklandstripteastrad and Ingrid Bergmanhauslovalot have not only invited Heidi over for convalescing but invited Heidi's favourite 'rider' over for a weekend of kroppkakor and sauna too.

Who's Heidis favourite rider ? Will the guys in Blighty draw straws ? or draw daggers at dawn ?Will it be Lord Timberlake desendent of the posh upper crust gentry or will it be Crackleport desendant of the lowest socioeconomic position in society the Dried Crust and Dripping Quoffers.

Only time will tell.....................

'Hurry over boys - Stockholm awaits'.... xxxxxxx luv ya !

I'm thinkin' there's more to this M.Z. ownership than meets the eye..........

This w

While Anni-Frid Zepplinschmittstrausse waits patiently astride her M.Z. in Berlin your Uncle Albert has been down 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' cutting up more Frostie packets. This time I needed a cylinder base gasket. Oil the surface, rub with a greasy finger, turn over and look in wonderment at the technological simplicity of this black art of gasket making before trimming with scissors......
Hey Albert ! She'll not wait forever........GET A MOVE ON !

Hold on a minute guys, lets do the job right ! Anni-Frid will understand....

Now at a critical part, (fanfare of trumpets please)......I am about to mount the Polish piston......

All going smoothly until, circlip insertion...despite great care the circlips didn't look seated correctly, remove and re-insert. Nope, something is amiss.

Cor-blimey mi old china's, them ther' circlips are more like hairclips than pistonclips.

Rule No1 - Never trust a Polished Polish Piston Producer !

Note the delicious roundness of Heidis clip against the new pretenders

Anyway - All sorted now. Clipped and ready to go up the bore !

Must dash - I've a flagon of cider waiting.

MZ-Motorrad-Klub Berlin, das Heimat nennt

Mein Name ist Anni-Frid Zepplinschmittstrausse. Ich lebe in Berlin. Ich sehr viel wie Ihr blog. Das ist sehr aufregend. Ich liebe auch M.Z.s und Leder. Vielleicht können wir am himmel fahrtan Haus bierkeller treffen. Setzen Sie bis dahin 2 streichenden großen Jungen fort !

This weekend I've been mostly...

Greetings Bloggers, it is 'I', Albert Crackleport.
Once again reporting on how 'ze erotischer Kleiner Ostdeutscher' is adapting to life in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'

Well this week I've been mostly using 'Blue Hyomar' and 'Granvilles Anti-Seize Grease'

Call me a traditionalist but it's none of ya fancy silicoooones for me. Nah, I use and recommend Blue Hylomar sealer, if it's good enough for Rolls Royce it's good enough for ya Uncle Albert.

Granvilles Grease ? Had it years..........man and boy..........passed down generations, ya only need a smidge on ya threads and they whizz in and out when ever you so desire.

So Heidi's bottom region is now nearing completion. Sealed and screwed together with aforementioned compounds she will last for years.......

New gasket required for Clutch cover...................HOW MUCH ! Can you believe one character who advertises on Fleabay wanted £11.99 ! Seen um for £4 +p&p too......but.....

Well, it's still too much, my Lord of Timberlake would have a spontanious convulsion if I spent that amount of silver sov's on a bit of thin card.

So, this week I have been also mainly cutting up Frostie packets too.

Alberts Quality Scrimpers Gasket Co makes um for £0.00

They're Gr-r-r-eat ! say's Tony the tiger !

So, thats it for now- But stay tuned for the next breathtaking episode.....

Scrubbin' up well

Albert here - Happiness is - a bath of paraffin and a gurt big brush.

A relaxing soak does wonders. Rear guard Basil K. Splutterpipe was allowed to take control of the biggest scrubber in Yorkshire this morning in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' and what a mighty fine job he did too with his bobble hat set at a jounty angle for extra protection !

A pleasure indeed to watch a master at work, teasing years of grime out of tight oriffices comes as second nature to Basil K. No speck escapes his eagle eye !

Cleaning until Gleaming is the Splut' family motto.

As sometimes happens - Underneath muck treasure lurks.........What did we find ?


A series of secret number stampings.....29.41.105. Hum ?


Aluminium had always been in short supply within the Eastern Block so many alloy castings are in act re-cycled from unwanted Cold War militaria. (Remember Heidi was born 12 years before the collapse of 'The Wall')

A search of recycled U-Boats and Armour Plated Trabants revealed nothin'. Have we stumbled on the last jottings of an old enigma specialist.?


Google......................search................search..............and just at the point of giving in (Well not actually giving in.....for ever) I stumble on the old factory personnel list for Motorradwurks Zschopau (M.Z.)


Employee No 29/46/105. Ingerborg Heinkel. Maschinenbauingenieur

The very person who built Heidi 34 years ago left her mark for the Blighty Boys to find !

M.Z. employee by day..............

But by night !(and most weekends)..........Ingerborg Heinkel. Geschwindigkeitskönigin

ABSOLUTELY AMAZING !

Heidi gets new balls

Albert here -
Picked up the new main bearings and seals for Heidi today at my local bearing shop.


They are the guys !......Nothin' too much trouble. Ordered in special they were, only took a couple of days. Andrew the ball bearing guru at Atlantic Bearings told me they were quality and built for high load and speed. Now if that ain't what my Lord of Timberlake needs after many years of 2 stroke excile I don't know what is. Riding Heidi will be like riding a magic carpet...
Whoosh.............................Silky smoooooooooooooooooth..............................


Take a moment to savour the majestic excellence of said balls for soon they will be forever entombed within Heidi's rebuilt bottom. No more rattles from the nether regions of East Germanys finest.

Here's the best bit though for as I was doing my own private savouring I noticed that the Bearing Guru of Old Guiseley Town speaks true !

Yes, for I spotted the obvious, Heidi will not only have new balls but many more too........ Notice how many in each race.....Oh my goodness.

Above - Compare old and new. Was 8........now a mighty 12.....

AWESOME !